I Am A Slut...

And I have never felt more proud to call myself that. I had been borrowing The Ethical Slut 2nd Edition from my friend, Angel, and within the first two-three chapters I have learned a lot about myself than I think I have in the longest time. I have already learned that there is nothing wrong with being a slut, and it doesn't have to be a derogatory term to bring me to shame, or make me feel like lesser of a woman. If anything, I should feel empowered by the fact that I am a slut, and should embrace it.


From the very beginning, this book has redefined what the word "slut" means, and gives it a new perspective, and it's something I think I can really wrap my head around and it's definitely something I am comfortable with. I know I have been called a slut before, and I know Master has called me a slut. The difference is I only felt somewhat okay with Master calling me a slut and I've never felt okay with some random person calling me that. I found it degrading, embarrassing, and a way to make me feel less about myself. This book, though, has already changed that for me, and I can honestly say that I am happy with the term slut now because I have found a better and more positive definition than what society wants us to think.


I have always been a sexual person. Maybe even a closet pervert, if you will. I have been having sexual fantasies since I was six, and thinking back on it I realize I think I have always liked girls in the same kind of way I like Angel. I remember a friend of mine, a girl, spending the night with me when I was 5 or 6, and I loved being cuddled up to her. So maybe that was my first clue? Perhaps. That wasn't sexual though. What was sexual was me making my dolls "have sex" with one another... Oddly enough, this happened before I was molested. I wonder if on a subconscious level I knew what I was doing, because if my parents came in, I quickly stopped what I was doing. 


Another clue is that I loved looking at women's bodies. Even with my barbies. The woman's body is such a beautiful thing, and I find that I draw women far better than I do men. Maybe it's easier, but something tells me this is more on a subconscious level. Else I'm reading too deep in between the lines. Hah.


I apologize for derailing a bit there. 


Sex is very important to me. I love sex and I see it as a form of art that can be expressed between two, and even sometimes, more than two people. I love reading about sex, and I find that I am more likely to read an article about sex before reading an article on music. Which is odd because music is a major part of my life. If there is one thing I love more than learning and reading about all the different forms of sex, is actually having sex. Sex is great, especially if it is done right, and if emotion is put into it. 


I used to hate to talk about sex because like most people, sex is not exactly praised all that much and we get a warped sense of what the true meaning of what is what. Back then, sex was supposed to be secretive, and if you had sex before marriage, you were a whore, a sinner, a slut, and you were seen as all of these horrible degrading things. I think at one point, I kind of said "Fuck it. I don't care" and did it anyways, because it was something I wanted. My only regret is that I didn't wait till I met Master. I do not regret losing my virginity at fifteen.


Now things are different. I may still be a little awkward at verbally speaking about sex, rather than typing it up, but I am finding it less difficult to talk about each day. I am happy that I am sexually active with Master, and I am happy that I have lots of sex with Him. I'm even happy that I actually had a chance to let Angel play with me, and that I was forced to orgasm in front of her while Master worked on me in front of her and Panda. Was it a little embarrassing? Yes, but that day, I made a whole new step in my life. A step that is helping me realize that my sexuality is a healthy thing, and that I should never be ashamed of that. 


Yes, I am a slut, and I am damn proud of that.


~*~Anastassia~*~


P.S. I hope that I may have helped out any of my readers with this post, even if it only one, because one is all that is needed to make a difference in life. My fellow readers and friends, be proud of yourself, and your sexuality. It's part of who you are, so you should never lose sight of that. Stand tall and be happy with who you have become and who you will become. I love you all.