Degradation

WARNING: There may be some triggers in this for certain viewers. If you can not handle degradation, asphyxiation, or face smacking, this is not the post to read.

Last night I was left speechless for multiple reasons. Lately Master has been stepping up His "game" so to speak and has caught me off guard in ways I'd never dreamed of. It all started after the weekend when we had that fight. Ever since Master and I have been working harder at our relationship and He has definitely been pushing my limits. Especially on Valentines Day. 

Again, He was pushing me just a little bit further and the results... I really can't say. I'm still in a bit of shock and at a loss of words of how I feel. 

We were upstairs in His room and I was at His mercy once again. I was His loyal slave, eager to serve, and He was my Master, ready and willing to put me in my place. He stripped me of my clothes, and little did I know He was going to strip me of my dignity. With force, He shoved His cock down my throat and fucked my mouth till I was gagging and gasping for air. He then grabbed my throat and forced me on my back, pushing me into the bed. 

A strange look came across Masters eyes and He looked like He wanted to literally tear me apart. His eyes were beyond intense as He stared into mine and closed His hand around my throat, starving me of oxygen for only a few seconds. When He let go of me my body reacted on its own and I started coughing. His eyes gleamed with almost malice and once again He closed His hand around my throat, only this time He placed His other hand over my mouth and pinched my nose between His thumb and index finger. 

Panic had set in, but not the kind of panic where I thought I was in danger, the kind that I knew was turning me on and sure enough, Master reached down and slipped His fingers right in with ease. Like a hot knife on butter. Again, I was able to catch my breath and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. 

Master rubbed His hands on my cheek, then with no warning, gave my cheek a tap with His hand. It stung a little, but I was absolutely loving it. Again He smacked me a little harder repeatedly on both cheeks till they stung at the slightest touch. Master smiled at me

"Do you remember what I said I should do the other night?"

"No Sir?"

"When I said I would spit on you?"

"No... Please don't."

"I think I will." He grinned at me

"Master please no. Please don't do th-!"

Suddenly He did it. He spat on face, on my hot cheek. My mouth gaped open in shock and I stared at Him in disbelief. The only thing going through my head was that He actually did it as I just couldn't believe it. To add insult, He took His hand and smeared His spit all over my cheek, rubbing it in. My gag reflex kicked in at this point and I started gagging and choking on the very air I was breathing, bringing tears to my eyes.

He grabbed my face and moved my head so I was looking up at Him. He looked into my eyes as tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt completely helpless and thoughts escaped me. He spat on my far again and this time I could feel it rolling down my face. 

"This disgusts you, doesn't it?"

I couldn't really respond. My mind was going blank and all thoughts escaped me. Don't get me wrong, while it did disgust me, I loved it. I just never thought the day would come when He would do that, and I just lacked a reaction.

"I love seeing you cry, my slave."

And in that moment a thought did reach my mind. Deep inside I was craving Him to say something I've always wanted to hear Him say. I wanted to hear Him tell me that me crying wasn't enough. That He needed me to cry more, and once again I was caught by surprise as that wish was granted only seconds after I initially thought it. He spoke,

"You know what though? I want more of your tears. I want you to cry more for me." He squeezed my cheeks with His left hand. "Cry for me."

Though I was so relieved He said it, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't cry a single tear after that point. He watched me intently, looking for the slightest droplet, then let go of my face. 

"How disappointing.... Oh well. You've had your fun, I think it's my turn now."

He climbed down between my legs and I felt His cock pushing against my wet hole. Easily He slid into me and He used me. Fucking me with all of His strength and taking advantage of my body. Just how I loved it. I reveled in the moment as He used me and emptied His seed inside of me. I remember holding Him tightly, not wanting to let go of Him. Something about all of this... Something about the way He treated me made me want Him even more.

To anyone else, what had happened between us would seem abusive and horrible, but to us, we were free in those moments. I felt amazing in ways I have never felt before. I guess you could say I love the "abuse". I don't feel abused though. I felt like I was put in a head space that I haves longed for, and for that I felt privileged. 

Words can not describe how I truly felt or what really went through our heads. All I know is that I loved Him for how He made me feel, and it made me want to just lay at His feet. I felt completely submissive to Him for the rest of the evening, and that headspace is still with me here, 10:15 in the evening. Yesterday was nuts, but I wouldn't have want it any other way.

~*~ Anastassia~*~

Master's Valentine's Day Present

I have never been keen on the whole Valentines Day thing. Especially after Grams passed away, as she would be 68 years old on this very day. Master, however, kind of likes the idea of celebrating this day, and even though I really don't enjoy it 100% I go along with Him anyways because it's Master. Who am I to deny Him of what He wants? I'm not a huge romantic person, but I do like little surprises here and there no matter what day it is, but little did I know today I would be getting a really big surprise.

Master picked me up from work this evening and we headed back to His place. After a 9 hour shift on the job, I'm always exhausted and ready to just relax for the rest of the evening. Master had other plans. Master disappeared upstairs for a few minutes and when He came back down, He peered around the corner of the door frame with a smile on His face and ordered me to close my eyes.

I closed my eyes and was instructed to hold out my hands, and again I obeyed. Suddenly a rectangular package was dropped onto my hands and I quickly opened my eyes. It was a bar of Dove Chocolate (my all time favorite chocolate).

"Did I tell you you could open your eyes?"

"No! I just-"

"No, what?"

I paused for a moment, pondering what He was getting at and then it clicked."

"Sir!"

"Good girl~... You're going to start calling me 'Sir' and 'Master' more often. You've not been saying it nearly as much lately and that needs to change."

He then plopped a large bag of Dove Chocolate onto my still waiting hands. More Dove?! Oh my gosh... I love this chocolate and this is probably going to sabotage my hard work at trying to lose weight, but I was excited to finally have some after not having any for about half a year.

Master also had the crop with Him and half jokingly (half serious) mentioned He wanted to beat me tonight. At this point I was still not feeling any of this and was slightly smiling while ever so slightly protesting against it. Master wants what He wants, and He gets what He wants.

Instead of beating me though, we ended up doing something a little bit different. After going upstairs to His room, He put me in my purple cuffs and locked the ball gag into my mouth. He fondled me for a bit, touched me all over, and rubbed His hard cock against my face, but oddly enough it still wasn't getting a rise out of me. He had me roll over onto my back and I pulled the gag out of my mouth to speak.

"Master, I don't like all this soft stuff that we are doing. I liked it when we first got together and started doing this sort of thing, but I'm way past that now. I want things to be a little more rough. A little more forceful. I like it better that way. Please get on my level."

It came off a little bit brash, which was not my intention, but He just stared at me. He said nothing at all, just looked at me. Slowly He got up on His knees on the bed, all the while staring at me and pulled me up into a sitting position with us facing each other. He pulled me in close all the while staring deep into my eyes.

I couldn't tell what was going on in His mind. He suddenly looked so blank and almost stoic.

Master positioned my face near His cock and as I was going to speak (with no warning at all) He shoved His cock deep into my throat, placing His hand on the back of my head and holding me tightly in place. Immediately I started gagging on His cock. Saliva pooling in my mouth and my stomach lurching as my gag reflexes did what they do best.

He grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled me away from His cock letting me gasp for air before forcing it deep into my throat again, repeating the process. The second time He pulled out of my mouth, a thread of drool connected from the head of His cock to my bottom lip and more poured out of my mouth onto the bed.

At this point I was coughing and really gasping for air, completely caught off guard by what had just happened. My mind was racing and I couldn't think straight, but I was definitive loving this attention. He tilted my head up so that He could look at me and the look in His eyes were deadly and piercing. It was a side of Him I'd never recall seeing before.

Slowly He drew His hand back and I honestly thought He was going to hall off and slap me as hard as He could. The first time His hand came down on my right cheek, it stung a little, but it wasn't nearly as bad as what I thought it would be. Then He drew back again, smacking me a little harder this time. Gradually He smacked my face harder, to the point I exclaimed that He was starting to hurt me.

"Oh you love it and you know it."

"But it really hurts, Master..."

"Yeah, but you like it. I can see it in your eyes. Part of you hates that I'm doing this, but another part of you is saying 'Thank god you finally did it' and you know it."

I stayed silent, staring up at Him. He switched hands and grabbed my hair on the back of my head and drew His hand back again, smacking the left cheek just as hard. Tears welled up in my eyes, but the funny part is that He was right. I was loving it, and part of me was hoping He would smack me again. Again, that wish was granted before He shoved His cock deep into my throat again.

He fucked my mouth as hard as He could, all the while I drooled, gagged and tear rolled down my now hot cheeks. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was in love with this moment. For so long I had wanted to be treated like this. I wanted to be treated like I was just a mere toy at His whim. I wanted to feel small beneath Him and combining all of this and the way He stared at me, He had reached that internal goal of mine.

Again, He pulled out of my mouth and smirked this time.

"I wonder what you'd do if I were to spit on you?"

"I'd be angry with you." I said with slight fear in my voice.

"Ah, but you'd love it. Look at you! I can see the smile in your eyes! You want me to spit on you."

He ever so slightly moved His mouth as if her were really going to do it, and I looked up at Him with pleading eyes. I saw Him swallow and He grinned at me.

"You would have loved it and you know it."

He let go of my hair and pushed me on my back. He was toying with me in all the right ways.

"Spread your legs for me, slut. And pull your arms away from your body. Don't think about closing your legs or bringing your arms back to your body."

He placed His fingers against my cunt and easily slid His fingers inside me. A smirk played across His face.

"My my! You're soaking wet!"

He pumped His fingers in and out of me, and for the first time ever, I actually enjoyed it. I typically don't like having fingers inside of me, but it felt amazing. I was completely relaxed and open for Him. Not giving a care about anything. I wasn't even uncomfortable with His fingers being in me, when any other day, I'd be strongly protesting it.

Eventually He pulled His hand away from me and leaned over me.

"I'm going to use you. Tonight you are for my pleasure only. I couldn't give a damn if you came tonight or not. All I care about is using you like the fuck toy you are."

Carefully, He slid inside me and did just that. Used me. I was forced to leave me arms splayed out, not being allowed to touch Him as He fucked me. Oddly enough, I ended up coming anyways. Which was another first for me, as I typically need clitoral stimulation to cum.

Master spilled His seed inside of me and smiled at me. It was a look of satisfaction and accomplishment that was clearly splayed on His face.

The rest of this evening has not been as eventful or fun, but I think it's safe to say that I ended up being Master's Valentine's gift this year, even though I hadn't planned on it. I hope everyone else is having a great time doing whatever they do. I know I have.

~*~Anastassia~*~

Being Appreciative

Last weekend was a tad of a struggle for us regarding our relationship. As any intelligent person knows, no relationship is perfect and none are exempt from trials and flaws. Like any other couple, be it vanilla or M/s, we argue, we fight, we clash at times, and we even disagree with certain situations. Last weekend... was one of those weekends. 

I now have a full time job working in the medical field (the field of my dreams), and Master is back in school continuing to get His degree in Civil Engineering and also working when He is not in class. So it is easy to say that we have a LOT less time with one another than we have had in almost half a year. I got so used to seeing Him off and on throughout the whole entire day that I think I started taking that time with Him for granted, and now that we only have maybe 4 hours in the evening to see each other and only weekends together, keeping our dynamic alive shows to be a tad challenging. 

By the end of our days that have been full of work and school we both want to crash in bed, cuddle up, and just rest together. While this is perfectly fine with me, I have always felt the need to have a stable, guiding hand to keep me in check, and for the most part Master is amazing at that. Lately, however, that has changed due to our schedules. I have noticed He has not been as on top of things with me and I am starting to become a little mouthy here and there. Even lazy at times. 

When He has told me to get Him something from the other room, I have caught myself saying something along the lines of "Ehh.. Why can't you do it? I'm tired..." in a somewhat whiny voice. Honestly that is so completely selfish of me and I have felt ashamed of that. It wasn't fair to Him for me to act that way when, like me, He has given each day His all and has put forth every effort He can muster.

We ended up getting into a heated argument about all of this. We were frustrated with one another. 

Why didn't I submit, even if He isn't ordering me? 

Why should I submit to someone who doesn't seem like He wants to be the Master?

It was petty, foolish fighting that was highly unnecessary. We both said some hurtful things to each other, though I think my words may have stung Him more than anything... and we ended up getting quiet and just letting all those words fade away into silence. At first, I didn't want anything to do with Him. I wanted to leave and be alone, and of course He wanted me to stay so that we could work things out. Needless to say, I ended up staying.

Silence. That was all that was heard for about 20 minutes after the argument. We both sat there collecting our thoughts. Instead of continuing the argument, though, Master decided He wanted to take me out on a date. I was reluctant, but He insisted that we do this and asked me where I wanted to go and He said that we would go see the movie Warm Bodies. 

I ended up picking Ruby Tuesday's for our dinner location where Master treated me to a rare cooked steak (my favorite) and a glass of wine. I admitted to Him that I didn't deserve this, especially after the way I had treated Him earlier that afternoon. Still, He insisted and said that I did indeed deserve it. That I deserved to have the best, even when I feel like I don't because He says so. I deserve it because He deems it so. I had never felt more humbled in my life up until that point.

Dinner was fantastic. We shared some laughs, I had a delicious meal with some of the best tasting wine I have ever had, and we even enjoyed the movie. After the explosion of emotions everything was finally calm again and Master and I salvaged that evening.

It wasn't till the next evening that we actually dug a little deeper. It was much like a night we had a couple months ago in which we learned about each other a little more. We had shared our favorite things like colors, songs, books, authors, what we wanted to get out of life. It was like we were rediscovering one another all over again. Except this time, it was about our M/s relationship. 

We were lying in bed, cuddling, and we talked about what had happened the day before. We clarified why we said the things we did, only we were a hell of a lot more civilized this time around. Apologies were exchanged and after a couple minutes of silence Master asked me a question He has asked me before.

"What does submission and being my slave mean to you?"

Caught a little off guard, I took a minute to mull the question around in my head and gave Him the best answer that I could think of. An honest one.

"It means fulfillment. It means I have worth and meaning in this world. I have something to live for and something to look forward to in the only life I'll ever have. It means devotion, happiness, and my truest expression of unfaltering love for you. It's the only way I can be myself, and in that I feel like I can be the most free and happy person I can be. It makes me happy knowing that I can serve you in such a way that I can make you happy. We may fight, but ultimately, your happiness is what is most important to me and me serving you makes you happy, therefore, it makes me happy."

I felt Him pull me closer against Him and He held me tight, kissing my neck and shoulder tenderly. We talked more about our relationship. Everything has been made clear and sometimes Master can't always be that bossy, domineering person 24/7, and I can't always be the perfect little slave that does everything on key. Sometimes we have bad days in which we are neither of those people. The most important thing, though, is that we know that this is okay when that doesn't happen.

After all, knowing that it's not always going to be sunshine and roses, I will be able to appreciate the days a whole lot more when Master is able to give me His all, and I am able to give Him mine. It's the little things...

I love you Master. Thank you so much for your devotion and your undying patience. You're the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. As long as I have you... life will be amazing.

~*~Anastassia~*~

An old photo, but I found it very fitting for this post.