Curtsy

Master and I have our moments where sometimes it feels like our dynamic is slightly faltering and we talk about it to see what can be improved and where things are going awry. To be perfectly honest, sometimes I feel as if Master is too easy on me and lets me get away with more things than I probably should. I spoke with Him about this and He agreed with me. 

This evening, Master decided that what He really wants the most out of me is for me to "act like a lady." I'm not the most feminine of girls. Truthfully, I'm more of a tomboy than anything. I hate skirts and dresses, despite Master protesting that I look good in them. The only thing girly I really do is wear make-up on occasion and keep up with my hair and body. I'm most comfortable in a T-shirt and jeans and that is mostly what you'll see me wearing.

I digress, though, as this is more about what has taken place this evening. 

One key thing Master has ordered me to do from here on out is curtsy to Him. (I'm cringing just thinking about it, really). I've never been one for the whole "princess" type gestures and in my opinion this is something you'd see in a movie about royal families back in the era of kings and queens ruling countries and such. 

To put simply, I find it awkward and a tad demeaning.

Master, however, disagrees. He says this is a form of showing respect. So what Master wants, Master gets... No matter how embarrassed I feel about it. Literally.

I was in the middle of watching a video when He told me to stop watching it and stand up. Hesitantly, I did as He said and He motioned for me to come to the middle of the room where He stood. 

"I'm going to teach you to curtsy for me."

"Right now?"

"Yes, Anastassia. Right now."

He then demonstrated to me how He wished for me to curtsy for Him and I immediately felt embarrassed and ready to back down. I protested against it and He grabbed me and forced me to do it. 

"See? It's not so bad. Now curtsy for me."

"But Maste-!"

"Curtsy! Now..." He said while giving me a stern look.

I stumbled a tad while going through the motions and doing it just like He showed me.

"Oh come on. You can do better than that. Curtsy three more times and we'll be done for now."

"Three?!" I said in disbelief. "It's like you really get a kick out of embarrassing me."

"That is beside the point. Now do it three times."

1 curtsy

Master had His arms folded and was smirking at me. I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment as I attempted the second and faltered short.

"What was that? Do it again. That was half a curtsy."

"That was totally a curtsy!"

I curtsied again. "There!" Stammering around and feeling completely defenseless for some reason. 

"That was two. Do another one. That second one did not count."

"But Master.."

"Do it now, Anastassia."

"I don't want to, Sir... I've done all three like you said."

Master advanced on me and grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me close and almost growled into my ear, "You will do it again and you will do it right. Once you do it, then you may be seated only after I give you permission. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Sir.."

After regaining my balance, I curtsied a third time and was then shortly after given permission to sit back down on the couch. 

I don't know how well I'm going to take to this whole curtsy thing. I feel almost stupid and belittled doing it, but I guess in due time I'll learn to love it, just like everything else Master has ever wanted me to learnt o do for Him. I'm trying to maintain the attitude that Master knows what is best and He deserves for me to do what He wants. I think this will certainly be a struggle to overcome, and I hope I can do it and keep a positive attitude about me while doing it.

I do admit that it was kind of hot the way He took charge of me, though. Something about the air about Him when He does things like that just strikes me inside and out. I have a feeling things are about to get more interesting around here. I just hope I can push through and make Him proud of me. Wish me luck.

~*~Anastassia~*~

Dedication

Master posed a question to me the other night and I honestly didn't have an answer for Him. He asked me "Why are you dedicated to me?" and for once, words failed me. I almost always have an answer for the questions He asks me, but this time the only think I could think of was "Because I love you." Of course this answer did not suffice and He wanted more of an explanation. I have never had to explain my reasoning's for why I dedicate myself to Him, all I knew was that I am because of just that. I am. So as an assignment, here I am today explaining why I am dedicated to my Master, and why I feel like He deserves my dedication to Him.

I guess I could start by saying that one of the reasons I dedicate myself to Him is because I love Him. I love Him with every part of my being and soul. I also feel the need for dedication to Him because I feel this is a part of making a relationship work. Especially the type of relationship I have with Him.

In my opinion, if I am to be His slave, I should always show the desire for wanting to learn, grow, and be molded into the best slave I can be for Him. That too is a form of dedication. I always say there is always room for improvement, and in my mind, showing that I am forever willing to learn what He wants to teach me is the best way for me to show it. 

(Forgive me. I sometimes find difficulty in explaining things).

The biggest reason I have for feeling like I should be as dedicated to Him as I am, is because of the way Master treats me. He holds me in high regard and cares for me like no one else ever would. He is always there for me. Be it for my vanilla needs or my service needs. He always protects me and makes sure I am safe above all else. He puts me before everything else in His life, within reason, and He never fails to make me feel loved and needed. 

For that, I feel He deserves me and the things I do for Him. Our relationship is much more than just I'm His slave and He is my Master. It's about balancing out our differences, working together to solve our conflicts and learning from the mistakes that we make. We work as a team, not as individuals against each other. With how well Master takes care of me, the least I could do is show Him that I appreciate Him is serve Him to the best of my abilities and take care of Him the way He takes care of me. 

I'd like to say that I have earned the way He treats me, and in return, He has earned the way I treat Him.

~*~Anastassia~*~

Update

Hey everyone! Sorry I've been so quiet as of late. Life has been really crazy lately. So I'm just checking in and letting you all know what has changed in the last couple of weeks. Sadly I don't have a lot of kinky stories to share at the moment, but good things come to those who wait.

As of a week ago today, March 5th, I turned 22! So yay to being alive for another year. I was a bit disappointed and hurt at how many friends didn't seem to remember my birthday, but the important part is that my best friend, some family members, and Master remembered. So it is little things like that that makes life a bit better.

Work has been going well. I'm getting along nicely with my new coworkers and I feel pretty settled in now. I've been there for nearly two months now, so my orientation period is almost over. I'm very excited about that.

This upcoming Saturday I will be getting me a new pair of glasses, which I desperately need. I've been having migraines something horrible because of my somewhat bad eye sight. So it will be a relief when I finally get them. It's going to be a little over $200 out of my pocket, but it will be worth it.

I also recently started the Mediterranean Diet and I've already started seeing results. I've lost ten pounds in the last two weeks, so that is pretty exciting for someone like me who struggles with their weight every single day. I just hope this one does the trick and I can actually reach my goal.

I'm sorry this post is on the boring side, but I just wanted to let yu know I'm still alive and well. Hopefully this weekend ill have something a little more interesting to post within a kinky nature. So we shall see where that goes.

Hope all is well with everyone else.

~*~Anastassia~*~