Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Struggling

I'm not used to this.... Being weak all the time, and not feeling like eating. Two weeks ago walking up an down stairs was no feat, now it seems like it's possibly one of the hardest things in the world to accomplish. Lack of appetite is somewhat of a foreign thing to me too. I can barely get myself to want to eat anything, and when I finally get the urge to eat, my appetite seems to just diminish out of nowhere in the middle of a meal. 


It's frustrating.


I found out I lost 4 pounds in just the one week I was in the hospital, and I'm pretty sure that is loss of muscle mass/due to slight malnutrition. (I didn't really eat a lot in the hospital. I was too busy throwing up bile). So while I am technically "all better" I really don't feel like that because of the present problems I am facing.


Master and I have been trying to work on betting my strength back though, as well as my appetite. At this point, I kind of have to force myself to eat a little bit of something here and there throughout the day, even though I really don't feel like it. As for my strength, I've been walking around a lot more than usual (most of my weakness involves my legs, surprisingly) and I've been walking up and down His stairs as much as possible without making my legs cramp out. We also plan on doing yoga after I'm finished with this and my homework tonight, so maybe that will help limber me up a little and stretch out my muscles. 


I need the stimulation.


Going back to class, yesterday, was a little more than rough on me. My normally heavy backpack felt 50 times heavier to me, but I pushed through as well as I could. For the most part, my classes went well. I was forced to drop my Medical Office Management class because I missed so much material, the instructor felt there was no way I could catch up. (It's amazing what a person could miss in one week. Ugh). 


My other instructors (minus one) were willing to work with me and let me catch up on the material I missed. My Business Communications instructor, however didn't even give me much of a chance, let alone time to speak with her. She, like all of my other instructors, knew I was in the hospital, but when I asked if I could make up the two papers I missed out on, I basically got a hand to the face. I suggested talking about it after class, and she merely laughed and walked away. 


Awesome....


Class let out, and when I tried talking to her, another staff member came in and butted in the middle of me trying to get a hold of her, and again I was ignored. After talking with my parents about it, I've decided to try talking to her during office hours tomorrow before class, and if she blows me off again, I'm going to speak with someone higher up than her. 


I could understand if I willingly skipped class, but I was in the hospital under circumstances out of my control, and I think I deserve a chance to make up two measly papers. 


Alas, I need to finish the last of my makeup work and get to that yoga. Hope all is well with everyone else in the world. 


~*~Anastassia~*~

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