Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Some Updates. A.D.D. TIME!

Okay, so this may get spastic here really quick- HEY LOOK A PLATYPUS! (told you). No, I kid, but really, Things have been CRAZY~ here lately. I've been studying my ass off practically every single day with little to no breaks (hence why I haven't been posting much, or inhabiting FaceBook or FL much lately) and due to the hard work, I have been rewarded with nothing but A's so far. YAY ME! ^.^

Master has been so proud of me that He took me out to dinner this past Thursday. We went to Uno's where I got to eat my favorite thing in the world! Rare steak with roasted vegetables. I'm telling you, that steak was delicious! It was just flowing with blood and juices, and it was so tender! (My mouth is watering just thinking about it!) That was probably the best freaking steak I have had in a long time. What a reward! I kept thinking to myself that whole evening "I deserve this. I deserve this" *takes another bite of the steak* "I so freaking deserve this!" And of course, since He rewards me, I reward Him back! Master was happy to receive a blow job later that night, though He gets one just about every day, anyways. At least I know I never get boring for Him, and that I seem to amaze Him every time. 

Moving along, I have been so freaking sex deprived that it's not even funny! It's not because we don't want to have sex, it's just we never get the time for it! He works almost all day most of the week, I go to school three days out of the week, the two days I'm off are spent studying, then when He has the weekend off, I seem to always work on that weekend. I study in between the times I'm not working, throughout the weekend, and on top of it, since we don't have a place together, finding the time for sex and play time is limited. His parents and my parents almost always seem to be around. 

In fact, we've been spending more time with His family than we do just by ourselves. I'm getting sick of seeing His family all the freaking time. Don't get me wrong. They are great people, and they are very nice to me, and do nice things for me, but I'm at the age where it's like "Okay, you've spent time with one set of parents, you've spent time with them all." All they want to do is treat you like you're still a fucking kid and basically loom over you like "I'm watching you guys. I can see everything you do." 

I don't like kissing in front of people all that much, and frankly, I like to keep it private. Master, however, loves to kiss me all day, every day, and while that is awesome, and I love it, He likes to do it in front of His parents. I don't feel comfortable with that, because it makes me feel like they aren't too happy with it, and to some degree, they probably aren't. Anyways, getting off that tangent.

I've recently invested in some wild berry herbal teas, and tried one today that reminded me of red koolaid. Tasted great, and I'm still sipping on some as I type this.

Speaking of herbal, I've also invested in some Acai supplements, and some Centrum Women's Health Multivitamins, and while I've only been taking it for about a week and a half now, I already feel a lot more energetic through out the days, and I feel a little more on the healthy side. Plus, that Centrum Women's Health is supposed to help with breast and bone growth, and I think it's working. My breasts are starting to feel a little fuller and more on the plump side, and that is something I definitely want. They don't look much different, but I can feel a difference that I'm starting to enjoy. 

Also, I keep having this recurring dream about a vampire who feasts on me every chance he gets and practically rapes me. Of course, I end up enjoying it, because lets be frank here, I have a vampire fetish. I LOVE vampires, the thought of them, the thought of one drinking my blood while having sex with me. Yes, this shit is sexy to me, and has been since I was about 11 years old. (I'm NOT joking). Master needs to shave His face and be a vampire for me one Halloween. <.< I'd jump Him in 0.00001 seconds. 

I think it's my subconscious telling me to proceed with finding another good read about vampires, and I'm not talking about this Stephanie Myers bullshit either. She can burn in hell for what she did to the legacy of vampires. The last good book I read that involved vampires was The Vampire Lestat, by Anne Rice. Now THAT is a masterpiece. So here I am, again, on another hunt for a good vampire novel that doesn't speak of what are actually known to be sparkling gay fairy monsters, and a girl who kills herself because she can't be with that fairy, or something like that. 

I want blood, action, sex, violence, lengthy read, and for GOD'S SAKE, A FUCKING PLOT!!!!! 

-This message has been brought to you by the corporation of unicorns. We do not condone violence, but if one gets a horn to the eye, well you shouldn't have been poking that unicorn in the first place.-


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

My Rant For The Day

I have two things that I REALLY want to bring into the light of things at this moment. I don't care if anyone agree's with me, or disagree's. These are my personal opinions and until I see reason otherwise, I'm sticking with them.

First off, I'd like to point out that people are idiots. Plain and simple. What blows my mind, though, is that people tend to nit-pick at the things they disagree with. As I had stated a little bit ago in a forum, it's like all everyone is trying to do this day and age, is tell people they are wrong. They don't want to listen to reasoning, they don't want to hear the whole story, they just want a reason to bitch, complain, try to make someone look stupid, and basically feel like "I'm Mr/Ms. Know It All". 

Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but that is not how it works. Sure, you can disagree with me all you want, but that doesn't make either of us more wrong/right than the other. In fact, WHO CARES?! WHY does is HAVE to be about who is wrong and who is right? It just doesn't make any sense to me!

In fact, I worded it a little bit better earlier, so here is my direct quote:

"Am I the only one who notices that sometimes.. people don't take the time to read everything, and just jump and nit-pick at certain words or parts of sentences? It seems that now-days, people are in such a rush to tell everyone else they are wrong, that they never stop to hear out the whole explanation or to read the whole story.
Slow the fuck down. You're going to pop a blood vessel one of these days. Lol
 I just don't understand why people do this. It confuses me. Not only do you come off as rude, and Mr./Mrs. "I Think I Know It All" but some of these people prove to be just as stupid as what they are trying to make others look.
  Maybe my logic is far different than theirs or something."
There, that sums it up a little more.... 

Second point I wish to get at before I end this little rant. 


Okay, I'm going to sound like a hypocrite, because well, look at the day and age we are in. EVERYONE uses a form of technology now-days. There is no escaping it. If you put two pictures side by side of what today's world looks like, and a picture of what day life was like 70 years ago, we have progressed SO MUCH. 

Back then, in order to get things like eggs and clothes, you had to have chickens and buy it from a farmer, and you had to MAKE your own clothes and such. When they went to school, they didn't have computers, and cell phones. Much less internet and texting! Now days, teachers/instructors have to worry about their students texting and surfing the web during a lecture. How is that making life easier?! If you ask me, it's damn stressful. 

In middle school I hardly ever saw a problem with cell phones. In high school, and even in my college classes, I see teachers craning their necks to see if students are paying attention or playing with their iPods or phones. It's ridiculous! 

We have become LAZY! 

My dad told me several times that while growing up, he didn't have internet at his finger tips. If he wanted to know something bad enough, he had to hit the books and physically SEARCH for it. Sure, we have it easy now, compared to back then, but is it really for the best? America has a far higher rate of obesity in this country than EVER before. Do I blame it on technology?

You bet your sweet ass I do. 

Granted, it's not ALL because of technology, but you'd have to be blind as a bat, or really stupid, to not see some correlation in all of this. 

It may have made things a little bit more on the easy side for us, but in the process, it is also destroying us to some extent.

That ends my rant of the day.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


So, it has been a while since I have made a legit post about how the relationship between Master and I is going.

Things are going great! There has been a vast improvement between the two of us, and there have been less confusion and arguing going on in our lives. Ever since Master got rid of the rules He didn't care about, and has been focusing on the ones that truly do effect Him and that He really cares for, things have been MUCH easier. He's able to remember the rules and making punishments far easier (Not that he needs to remember punishment, because I've been trying really hard to be as good as possible), and I have been able to obey easier and I feel as if this is coming more naturally to us, and that nothing is like doing a big "chore" or anything. 

It just feels right. Everything feels right. 

Master has actually been highly impressed with something that I've started doing, and honestly, I never realized I was doing this myself, either. Whenever I see there is something that needs to be done, not only do I not ask about it, but I just do it. For example, a few days ago, I saw the water pitcher was getting low on water. I had no intentions of drinking water, as I had tea, but something told me to fill it up anyways. I did so, and Master thanked me for it, despite He never asked me to do it. He said that by me doing little things like that, it made His day easier and He had less things to worry about.

Talk about being grateful for the little things! =D

I never realized, until that night, that the littlest of things that I do, whether to do it, or just to do it for Him, really does affect Him in more ways than one. It makes me feel really happy that my self-less acts help Him out so much and that He appreciates each and every single one of them. 

That is basically the gist of everything going on though. We've improved a lot, and even some of my friends have seen it. We've always been happy with one another but they say we seem even more happy to be around each other, and we look like that even if something bad is going down, we're still happy to be right there next to one another. =) That warms my heart so much.

Master says He has something in store for me later today. I'm excited!!! X3

I hope everything is going well with everyone else!


Friday, July 1, 2011

I'm Tired of This Bullshit!

Okay, that's it. This was going to come out eventually, it was bound to happen, so while I'm feeling really pissed, I'm going to get it all out of my system so when I see Master later, I won't be in such a pissy mood.

I HATE my parents. No. I'm serious. I really fucking hate them. I have a love for them because they are my parents, but that aside? They can fucking rot in hell. I'm so SICK of trying so fucking hard to not only make them happy, but make them PROUD of me! NOTHING I do FUCKING SATISFIES THEM! I clean their house. I take out their trash. I do their laundry, I wash their dishes, I hardly EVER ask them for food, as Master and I take care of that together, I cleaned my mom's cats' PUKE up last week and NEVER ONCE got a "Thank you" from her! Do you know how nasty that shit is? On top of that it had been DRIED up, so I literally had to SCRUB to get that shit off the fucking coffee table. In the time it took to dry, she could have fucking done it herself, I damn near say.

Master and I do the lawn work for my parents. Dad has maybe done it ONCE this whole spring/summer season so far, and even then, I don't know for sure if he did it, or if my mom paid our neighbor who sometimes takes care of it. My mom will KINDLY thank my Master on the work, but I've only heard a "thank you" towards me maybe twice this season. She pays us $10 each, but I'd GLADLY give up those $10 just to hear her say "Thank you" ONCE to me and not just be like "Did a nice job. Here's ten bucks" in that nonchalant tone she has. For Christs' sake, woman! Show some fucking courtesy!

Lately, I have felt like I have been kissing her ass left and right, and she basically walks all over me and nothing I do satisfies the bitch. Honestly, if my great grandmother weren't around to bitch her out, and same for my dad, I'm sure the woman would have had me on the streets a long time ago. All she cares about is herself. If she's miserable, everyone else needs to be miserable. She's been like that probably all of her life. She's been like that since I've known her, that is for sure, and it's been a little over 10 years. I have had ENOUGH!

This doesn't just go for me as well, she's like this to my dad too. If he doesn't do something JUST right, she tries to fucking guilt trip him, make him feel belittled (fails with him as it does with me. It only pisses us off because we're smart enough to catch when she starts doing that) and it makes us not want to be around her. 

This past weekend I went to Kings Island with Master and some friends, and when I told her a week in advance that we were going and had the tickets paid for, she goes "Not if you're working you're not going" For starters, she didn't employ me. She doesn't pay me, she doesn't even work NEAR where I work. Who the fuck are you to tell me how I can live my life? Much less tell me when I can and can't go to work or go have fun? I am young, and I'll be 70 years old some day and still feel young. I am going to live a happy life and have fun as much as I damn well please. Just because you can't do it, doesn't mean I have to stop in my tracks, drop everything in my life, and say "Oh! Mom can't do this! Sorry, I can't do it either." No. 


That is NOT how life works, EVER, and that is not how I work. My father, however, asked me how the trip was, talked about it with me, laughed with me, he was SMILING and HAPPY FOR ME. Her? Nope. Not a single question. She didn't care that I had a good time, she didn't care what happened. She didn't even want to hear about it. I doubt she even cared I got home safe. I don't know about that last part, though. I may be wrong.

When I was in middle school and high school, I had a streak where I did not do so hot with my grades. Instead of talking to me, like a normal parent/adult, and trying to boost my self-esteem and help me with my grades, what did she do? She sent me to a shrink to put me on anti-depressants in hopes that SOMEHOW that might make me do better in school, and when that didn't work? She would taunt me several times during the week by saying things like "'Welcome to McDonalds! Can I take your order?!' That's all you're going to be good for." or "You're worthless. You're going to be worthless." "You're so weird. Why can't you be normal?" Shit like that. It wears you down after a while. It's a wonder I'm even as positive as what I am to this day. I don't know how I did it, but I know Master had something to do with it.

It's REALLY REALLY sad when your significant others' parents care more about the things going on in your life than your own parents. Master's parents have been really supportive over the fact that I started college this week. They have been asking me questions, asking if I am happy with the classes I have, if I liked the teachers, how my day was, etc. My parents? Dad never asks questions, never has, and mom only ask brief questions and then never mentions it the rest of the day. FUCK! This shit is getting annoying.

Today? After all this building up over the past 10 years, I think about exploded. I'm going to kill something. What's so funny about this, is that you'll soon realize it's a VERY minuscule thing that happened, but it was JUST enough to send me into this damn rant in the first place.

Master and I got some lunch after my classes ended and while He was on lunch break. We ate here at my house, and after He left, 10 minutes went by and my parents asked if I wanted to join them on going to eat Chinese food with them. I politely declined because I was full. I did ask, however, if my dad would be so kind as to bring me some sushi back home. I asked him NICELY! I even fucking said please and my tone was no where near rude or demanding. What do I get in return?

"No! I don't want to have to do that! If you want sushi so damn bad, get off your ass and come with us." And said that in a rather harsh tone.

Damn! I ask nicely for a little bit of sushi and this is what happens?! WTF HAPPENED?! I then replied back to him-

"Wow.. and I even asked you nicely. So much for that." in a soft tone and left the room to go back in my room. I heard him screaming at me down the hall about how I was at fault for something. I don't know. I had my music up even before then, and felt no need to turn it down. The way I see it, if he wanted to talk to me so bad, he could have opened the door and talked to me, not yell at me.

Shit like this needs to fucking stop. I don't deserve it, and I sure as hell don't need it in my life. Fine. Don't thank me for the hard work I do around this house, but you don't have to be such fucking assholes about everything either. This walking all over me and treating me like a dog is really starting to piss me off, and one of these days, I swear to god I am going to snap and it will NOT be pretty.

Fuck them....