Friday, July 1, 2011

I'm Tired of This Bullshit!

Okay, that's it. This was going to come out eventually, it was bound to happen, so while I'm feeling really pissed, I'm going to get it all out of my system so when I see Master later, I won't be in such a pissy mood.

I HATE my parents. No. I'm serious. I really fucking hate them. I have a love for them because they are my parents, but that aside? They can fucking rot in hell. I'm so SICK of trying so fucking hard to not only make them happy, but make them PROUD of me! NOTHING I do FUCKING SATISFIES THEM! I clean their house. I take out their trash. I do their laundry, I wash their dishes, I hardly EVER ask them for food, as Master and I take care of that together, I cleaned my mom's cats' PUKE up last week and NEVER ONCE got a "Thank you" from her! Do you know how nasty that shit is? On top of that it had been DRIED up, so I literally had to SCRUB to get that shit off the fucking coffee table. In the time it took to dry, she could have fucking done it herself, I damn near say.

Master and I do the lawn work for my parents. Dad has maybe done it ONCE this whole spring/summer season so far, and even then, I don't know for sure if he did it, or if my mom paid our neighbor who sometimes takes care of it. My mom will KINDLY thank my Master on the work, but I've only heard a "thank you" towards me maybe twice this season. She pays us $10 each, but I'd GLADLY give up those $10 just to hear her say "Thank you" ONCE to me and not just be like "Did a nice job. Here's ten bucks" in that nonchalant tone she has. For Christs' sake, woman! Show some fucking courtesy!

Lately, I have felt like I have been kissing her ass left and right, and she basically walks all over me and nothing I do satisfies the bitch. Honestly, if my great grandmother weren't around to bitch her out, and same for my dad, I'm sure the woman would have had me on the streets a long time ago. All she cares about is herself. If she's miserable, everyone else needs to be miserable. She's been like that probably all of her life. She's been like that since I've known her, that is for sure, and it's been a little over 10 years. I have had ENOUGH!

This doesn't just go for me as well, she's like this to my dad too. If he doesn't do something JUST right, she tries to fucking guilt trip him, make him feel belittled (fails with him as it does with me. It only pisses us off because we're smart enough to catch when she starts doing that) and it makes us not want to be around her. 

This past weekend I went to Kings Island with Master and some friends, and when I told her a week in advance that we were going and had the tickets paid for, she goes "Not if you're working you're not going" For starters, she didn't employ me. She doesn't pay me, she doesn't even work NEAR where I work. Who the fuck are you to tell me how I can live my life? Much less tell me when I can and can't go to work or go have fun? I am young, and I'll be 70 years old some day and still feel young. I am going to live a happy life and have fun as much as I damn well please. Just because you can't do it, doesn't mean I have to stop in my tracks, drop everything in my life, and say "Oh! Mom can't do this! Sorry, I can't do it either." No. 


That is NOT how life works, EVER, and that is not how I work. My father, however, asked me how the trip was, talked about it with me, laughed with me, he was SMILING and HAPPY FOR ME. Her? Nope. Not a single question. She didn't care that I had a good time, she didn't care what happened. She didn't even want to hear about it. I doubt she even cared I got home safe. I don't know about that last part, though. I may be wrong.

When I was in middle school and high school, I had a streak where I did not do so hot with my grades. Instead of talking to me, like a normal parent/adult, and trying to boost my self-esteem and help me with my grades, what did she do? She sent me to a shrink to put me on anti-depressants in hopes that SOMEHOW that might make me do better in school, and when that didn't work? She would taunt me several times during the week by saying things like "'Welcome to McDonalds! Can I take your order?!' That's all you're going to be good for." or "You're worthless. You're going to be worthless." "You're so weird. Why can't you be normal?" Shit like that. It wears you down after a while. It's a wonder I'm even as positive as what I am to this day. I don't know how I did it, but I know Master had something to do with it.

It's REALLY REALLY sad when your significant others' parents care more about the things going on in your life than your own parents. Master's parents have been really supportive over the fact that I started college this week. They have been asking me questions, asking if I am happy with the classes I have, if I liked the teachers, how my day was, etc. My parents? Dad never asks questions, never has, and mom only ask brief questions and then never mentions it the rest of the day. FUCK! This shit is getting annoying.

Today? After all this building up over the past 10 years, I think about exploded. I'm going to kill something. What's so funny about this, is that you'll soon realize it's a VERY minuscule thing that happened, but it was JUST enough to send me into this damn rant in the first place.

Master and I got some lunch after my classes ended and while He was on lunch break. We ate here at my house, and after He left, 10 minutes went by and my parents asked if I wanted to join them on going to eat Chinese food with them. I politely declined because I was full. I did ask, however, if my dad would be so kind as to bring me some sushi back home. I asked him NICELY! I even fucking said please and my tone was no where near rude or demanding. What do I get in return?

"No! I don't want to have to do that! If you want sushi so damn bad, get off your ass and come with us." And said that in a rather harsh tone.

Damn! I ask nicely for a little bit of sushi and this is what happens?! WTF HAPPENED?! I then replied back to him-

"Wow.. and I even asked you nicely. So much for that." in a soft tone and left the room to go back in my room. I heard him screaming at me down the hall about how I was at fault for something. I don't know. I had my music up even before then, and felt no need to turn it down. The way I see it, if he wanted to talk to me so bad, he could have opened the door and talked to me, not yell at me.

Shit like this needs to fucking stop. I don't deserve it, and I sure as hell don't need it in my life. Fine. Don't thank me for the hard work I do around this house, but you don't have to be such fucking assholes about everything either. This walking all over me and treating me like a dog is really starting to piss me off, and one of these days, I swear to god I am going to snap and it will NOT be pretty.

Fuck them....


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