Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Spring Break Photos

As promised, I will upload some photos from this past week/end. Hope you all enjoy them. ^.^

The places these photos were taken at were Hawks Nest and Carter Caves.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Facing My Fears

I've always had that generic "fear of the dark" thing looming over my head, except that fear also included being alone in the dark... while it was so quiet you could hear the quietest of noises. That type of thing has literally scared me all of my life, and to this day it still affects me. Tonight, however, Master began a training of sorts with me; a type of training to get me to no longer have that fear of being alone in a dark quiet room.

He started off by unraveling this tape and wrapping it around my head so that it became a tight fitting blind fold. It was bright orange, so through that and my closed eyes, I could see a little bit of light. I also had ear plugs in my ears to make it harder or me to hear sounds around me. I knew exactly where this was going, and I braced myself for the worse. 

At first, Master turned off all the lights except for the black light. We sat down on the bed (after I staggered around trying to find the bed) and He gently kissed me and held me as He talked to me about this fear. 

"So you've told me in the past that you are afraid of being in the dark. Is that right?"


"Is it just being in the dark, or is it being alone in the dark?"

I felt myself swallow hard on the simple answer I was about to give, "Alone.. in the dark..."

"So then you know that eventually you will have to face this fear, right?"


"Then you know what is about to happen, don't you?"

"I.. I have a feeling I do."

After a short pep-talk, I was told that I was about to be left in the room, alone in the dark by myself for a minute or so, and that Master would be right outside the door if I needed Him to come back in. All I'd have to say is "Yellow" and He'd come to my rescue.

Immediately my heart started racing, and I could feel my breathing escalate. Master asked if I was ready, and I replied sheepishly that I was. The last thing I remember was the lights going out, turning the room pitch black, and hearing the door shut through my muffled ears. In no time I took shelter beneath the blanket, feeling safest there, and I started repeating to myself over and over "You can do this. You can do this." thinking to myself of how proud Master would be of me if I would be brave for as long as I could for Him.

Moments later I heard the door open, and Master was touching me, asking me if I was okay. Instantly, I began to calm down, my heart rate returning to normal and my breathing leveling out. Tears started forming in my eyes and I felt the makeshift blindfold become moist from my tears. I told Him I was okay, and I agreed to continue this training for a little while longer.

It turns out, Master was in the room with me the first time around, and He had heard everything I said and stopped me because He wanted to make sure I was okay. After that, the training got a little easier, but I still felt that anxious feeling each time He left. Feeling like something was in the room with me, when in reality no one was there except me. 

By the time we finished tonight, Master said I was alone in the dark for about 7 minutes after adding up all the times He left me in there. The longest I stayed in there by myself was about 4 minutes, which also happened to be the last time we did it for tonight. 

One thing I'm really proud of is that I never called out "yellow". I wanted to REALLY bad at times, but I stuck it out for myself and for Master. I knew that I could grow from this experience in some way, and it helped me out knowing that I could be "brave" for Master. 

This is not the last time it will happen, and in fact, Master has already informed me that each time I will be forced to lay in darkness for longer periods at a time. The safe word will always be there though, but I'm really hoping I won't have to use it. I want to overcome this fear of mine, and I want to let Master help me with this fear. 

Plus it's always nice knowing that Master loves me no matter what, and having cuddles and kisses after this session does make things easier for me. I just hope that once more time gets added on I don't freak out and have a panic attack... This fear may not seem like much to people, but to me it's terrifying and really can ruin things for me. Even if I don't act like it on the outside. 

So we'll see where this goes. I'll update you all the next time this happens, which I have a feeling will be very soon. 


Monday, March 26, 2012

Update On The Last Couple of Weeks

Wow, so I've been pretty busy lately and the last thing on my mind as of late has been my blog. Sorry if I have disappointed any of my readers by being on an almost month long hiatus with no warning.

So where do I start?

I turned 21 at the beginning of this month, so yay for that! Now I can legally have alcohol at my whim. (Not really one to drink all that much anyways, so not much of a bonus for me. Haha) The last three weekends have been packed with fun, adventure, and (of course) kink! So I have a LOT to tell and I'm going to try to sum it all up without boring you all to death. ^.^;;

The second weekend of this month (March 10) some friends of mine decided to be gracious enough to open their home for an evening to hold a kinky birthday bash for me, Certari, and one other lady friend (I will be excluding some names in this post for the sake of privacy. So just an FYI there). The evening started off with Master, Certari and I showing up a little on the early side in order to help set up as much as we could and get the place ready for an awesome evening. 

With little time, we finished setting up the food and decorated the cake, and before we knew it, we had plenty of time to sit back, relax and socialize with the people who were throwing us this party. It wasn't too long after that guests, one by one, started filing into the house, and I'd say by 8 p.m. everyone had safely arrived, including a surprise guest that I had not anticipated being there. ^.^ The party was alive and everyone was having a great time.

During the night, I got to try out my first zipper with Angel, Certari, and the host, and it was definitely something I'd love to try again in the future. Maybe even try it on my cunt and clit sometime too! ;D I also got suspended, and bound to a table to have wax poured all over my chest while getting some knife play and flogging in at the same time. It was probably one of the best sensation scenes I've ever had the chance of getting into, and with friends like these, I'd say it will happen again in due time. 

That night, Master and I didn't get home until shortly before 2 in the morning. We were having such a great time that time literally slipped by us, and we had stayed a few hours later than we had planned on. Totally worth it. 

Last weekend was the Mardi Gras play party, and Master bought two new toys (more hitting implements. YAY) that we added to our growing collection. During the night, Master paired up with Angel, and I hung out with Panda while Angel pimped off some raffle tickets, and I helped Panda pick out a new flogger for His birthday to use on Angel. 

I volunteered to be Panda's test dummy for a while and I think we tested about 5 or 6 different floggers before He settled on a beautiful heavy red one that easily gave a wonderful thuddy/stingy sensation that I just KNEW Angel would love. So with no hesitation, Panda purchased it in time to show it off to His Angel. I could tell from the gleam in His eyes that they were both going to enjoy this new purchase, and I was pretty excited and happy for them. ^.^

Most play parties I spend my time socializing and playing with other people, but that night, I spent it more with Master, Panda, and Angel than anything. I got some more wax play in (which is my insta-subspace), we got to play with the violet wand for a little bit, and I was the first one to be hooked up to this gorgeous red padded St. Andrew's Cross. During this time, Master tried out our newly purchased toys on me, and thanks to Certari, we had the perfect blind fold. (It was this type of tape stuff, and I forget the name now, but I'm sure I'll remember it later). 

At first, Master just kind of tested out the toys on me, getting a feel for them, and suddenly I felt Him close to me. Shivers were sent down my spine as I knew something was about to happen. Master got closer and spoke 

"I want to play a game with you. Would you like to play as well?"

Stupidly I answered "Sure!" thinking it wouldn't really be much of anything. Almost instantly I began to regret agreeing to this "game" Master thought up on a whim as He explained the rules.

"We're going to play a game in which I will count to five, and while I'm counting to five, you will have to hold position and not move while I strike your ass with our new toys. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Master..." I agreed hesitantly. 

"Alright, here we go."

I drew in a deep breath as He started a tempo of what felt like the cane against my ass. Repeatedly hitting me in the same spot. 

"One... Two.... Three...." long pause all the while still hitting my ass "... Four..... Five." 

Alright first round was done, and it was starting to hurt, but I knew I could handle more. This process went on for what felt like hours, and sometimes He would count slow, and other times He would count out the numbers faster. It wasn't too long after this started that it was getting harder and harder not to move. I could feel my ass reddening and getting hot with the excess flow of blood to the now inflamed area. As I tried to hold still, a few cuss words escaped my lips and for each one it seemed like He'd hit me harder, as if He was saying to me through the motions "Bad girl!"

Not going to lie, even though it was painful, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I got pretty wet from all the beatings I received. I was definitely in my happy place. By the time He finished with me, my ass was so red that Angel proclaimed one could see it from the other end of the room. I was beaming with pride.

Next it was Angel's turn up on the cross, and Panda got to try out their new flogger on her along with a few other things. Her eyes were also bound shut so she couldn't see, and with Panda's scheming, Master and I got to join in on some of the play with her. Master and I got these little toothpick looking devices that we ran all over her body, and a few times I lightly scratched her nipples with them. Eventually, Panda wanted full control over her again, so we left them to their own thing while Master and I ventured off to talk with other people.

On the car ride home, I was overwhelmed with pleasure from all the activity, and I don't think I've ever wanted to suck on Masters' cock nearly as much as what I had wanted to that night. Sadly, I couldn't because Master was really tired and needed to keep all of His attention and focus on the road so nothing would happen to us. Needless to say, we got home a little late that night too, and Master and I both slept very well.

This past week has been Spring Break week for both Master and I, and we got to have some fun when Master wasn't working. Sadly, Sunday I was pretty much out of commission the whole day from all the horrible cramps I was experiencing. Master stayed in bed with me all day and even let me sleep for a few hours with the heating pad pressed against my lower abdomen to help calm the cramps. (Have I ever mentioned that sometimes, I HATE being a woman? Luckily for me I have a Master who doesn't mind taking care of me in my times of need). I was a little bummed out because Sunday was beautiful and sunny all day, and by the time the cramps went away long enough for me to start feeling better, it was 7 in the evening and the sun was starting to go down.

Monday and Tuesday weren't really any better. I went to bed Sunday night with the worst heartburn I've had in a while, and it made me sick to my stomach, so I felt like I was going to throw up half the night. I was stuck in the bathroom till two in the morning, hugging the toilet bowl like it was my best friend, crying and praying that this feeling would go away. Monday, I started myself on the B.R.A.T. diet eating mainly bread, peanut butter, and banana's all day long, hoping I wouldn't get sick. Tuesday was a little better, (except I got sick on the way to just get out of town for a while, so we had to turn around and take me back home) and by Wednesday I was starting to feel a lot better. 

Thursday, Master and I got up bright and early, and we headed to Hawks Nest for the day. The trip took about two hours, and the trip was definitely something that Master and I both needed. It was a warm sunny day, hardly any clouds in the sky, and the pictures I took were just amazing. (I don't have my camera with me right now, but tomorrow I'll make a post of some of the pictures I took of the last few days this past week/weekend. I think you all may enjoy them). We were way up in the mountains and the view was just breath taking. We also got to see some cool water falls, and I got to play in one of them for a little while too. 

Friday was a busy day, we spent all day shopping for groceries and getting ready for this past weekend, and around 6 p.m. we headed out to Carter Caves in Kentucky where we stayed the one night with His parents. I also took pictures of the place and Cascade Cave, so there will be pictures posted of that too.

Early Saturday morning, I woke about 8 a.m. and got myself some breakfast. Everyone woke up shortly after I did, and Master, His dad, and I went on a tour in Cascade Cave. It was pretty much everything I expected, and then some. There were a few bats hanging on the ceiling of the cave, and they were so tiny and fuzzy. I wanted to take one home with me. They were incredibly cute.

After the tour, we went hiking through the woods, and then it was off to work for me. I was on my feet for over 12 hours in total that day, and even though that was a mistake, it was worth it to see all the wonderful sights and the naturally occurring beauty that this planet can offer to us for our own personal viewing. Master and I got home shortly before midnight, and as planned, as I spent the night here with Him. I drew myself a nice hot bath after the long day I just had, and relaxed for about 20 minutes or so before I dried off and head to bed. Master knew I was hungry, so he made me a cup of ramen to eat before we curled up and went to sleep.

Yesterday was a lazy day. We got up a little early, but spent most of our day on the couch playing Mario Party (the original one). Before we knew it, His parents had came home around 5 in the evening, and over half of our day was gone. Around 7, we left the house for a little bit to go on a car ride and get our eyes unglued from the t.v.. We stopped at Pita Pit on the way back to grab ourselves some dinner and the rest of the night we kind of laid around and watched t.v. and snuggled.

So in retrospect, I'd say March has been great to me, and I'd say that I spent this month pretty well. This Wednesday I'll be getting back to regular schedule of school, and I'll be starting my new set of classes for the Spring Quarter. 

I hope my readers have been doing well, and I hope you all are happy to be caught back up with me. Take care, and hopefully I won't be gone for a month again. Haha


Thursday, March 8, 2012

Operation: Make Kony Famous

Originally, this post was going to be about me turning 21, and catching up all of my readers on what has been going on in my life lately, but something came up that I found far more interesting and important than my life. What I am about to show my readers may or may not be surprising, and you all may or may not already know about all of this. I feel it is my duty to bring more awareness to those around me, to show them the big picture. All I ask is that you, my readers, take a little extra time out of your day to watch this video, and pay attention to its message. 

As a single person, I can not make a difference, but if we were to all become one large group, to become part of something bigger, we can all make a difference together. All I ask is that you listen to all of the messages this video sends, and to pay close attention to what this short film is trying to teach us. Then, the last thing I ask of you, my readers, is to act. Even if it's just spreading the word to your friends, or your family. Please... act.

Help stop this tyrant from hurting more children, and destroying more lives than he already has. This has gone on long enough, and it's time for all of us in the world to make a stand and to start making a difference. Remember.. "United, we stand." So please, take a stand, help make a difference, and lend a helping hand in this time of need. This is not a joke, this is not spam. This is a message that the world needs to see and hear. The time is now. Spread the word, and make Kony famous in order to help catch and stop Him. 

Even do something as simple as sharing this story on your own blogs. Together, we can make a difference.


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Walk Like a Lady

Today, I was given a simple task, but one that I'm supposed to stick to for (hopefully) the rest of my life. Master and I were eating breakfast together this morning, when out of nowhere He mentioned that He was going to teach me how to walk the way He wants me to walk. This is mainly something that is supposed to take place when I am with Him out in public. 

I am to stand tall with my chest pushed out a little, and my head held high, and I am supposed to have my hands crossed in front of me, as if I were holding something in my hands. I am to walk on Master's right, and if we are in a crowded or small area, I am to walk behind on on His right, unless I have no choice but to walk directly behind Him. I'm either at His side, or directly behind Him, but never in front. He says that a Master should lead His slave, and the slave is a lady, and should walk like a lady. 

I think this will be fun, and actually be a slight challenge for me because I am used to slouching while I walk, and I'm used to either having my hands in pockets or else swinging them at my sides while I walk. It's simple, but it's just enough of a challenge for me. I'm going to be learning to break a few habits of mine, so this should get interesting. I know it may not seem like much, but I would like to ask for my fellow readers to keep me in their minds and if they are religious, keep me in their prayers. Breaking habits are not easy for me at all, so I feel I may struggle with this at first. 

Here's hoping I can learn how to walk like a lady, and a proud slave as I should. ^.^