Monday, September 26, 2011


Today has been a very productive day, and I just want to say that I am very proud of myself. My mom had asked me last night, before going to bed, to wash the dishes for her sometime today before I left the house. I took it above and beyond. I felt that since my mom has done so much for me over the past years, and because she is paying my way in school, she deserved a break, and a treat. 

I cleaned most of the bathroom. It only took me about an hour and a half, but that bathroom sparkles and shines now, much like you'd see in a commercial for cleaning products or something. (By the way, I freaking LOVE that Mr. Clean magic eraser sponge. It held up pretty well, and really got the job done. I highly recommend it). After cleaning the bathroom and making it look nice again, I headed into the rest of the house where I took out some of the trash, and I gathered up unneeded junk in the house and took it all outside to the trash cans. Next, I tackled the kitchen. I washed all the dishes, dried them, put them all where they belong in a tidy fashion, and thought to myself "why stop here?" I ended up cleaning the stove top, the counters, the outside and inside of the microwave, and as if that wasn't enough, I took care of laundry. Needless to say, mom was very proud and happy to come home to a cleaner house this evening. 

It was nice seeing that put a smile on her face and to hear the thanks she was giving me. Today has been a good day.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Uncalled For Emotions

There are days in my life where I get this sudden overwhelming feeling of anxiety and frustration throughout the day. Nothing seems to trigger this, and it can happen at any given moment. Anytime from when I wake up, to in the middle of the day, to right before I go to bed. They are seriously at random, and it has been something that I have dealt with ever since I was a kid. 

Today was one of those days.

I woke up this morning around 9:30 and immediately felt energetic. Something that is very rare for me as soon as I wake up. From the get go, I just wanted to move. I wanted to go somewhere, to walk around, do something, and the more I sat around doing nothing, the more irritated I got. I have no idea why, but I just did. I was happy once I got in the car to head over to Master's place, but as soon as I got my breakfast down, I wanted to be on the move again.

Sadly, that wasn't going to happen. Master had homework that is due first thing in the morning, and He had yet to finish it. There was a bit of a long board race in Milton that I really wanted to go to, and was surprised to see that Master did not, so I just sat there and watched tv all day. 

We eventually went to the park with His mom and walked around the park, so I was feeling alright at that point, but my agitation only increased throughout the day when my plans for getting a hair cut (rather, trim) was cut off because He wanted to go on that walk with His mom, and just other things that happened throughout the day that was fueling my ever increasing irritation. 

Point is, I still don't feel right, and I haven't felt right all day. Maybe it's the new set of hormones being put into my body by the new birth control I'm on. Maybe it's just my head wasn't in the right place today. I have no idea what causes this, but I do know that the fact I do this alone makes me feel highly annoyed. Mainly for the fact that I can't figure out why it happens. 

Another thing that was weird that happened today is that I had the sudden urge to want to be hurt by Master. I just wanted Him to hurt me. More mentally than physically, but I just wanted something to happen. There has only been a few times where He will do something to literally fuck with my head, but as that usually takes me a while to get in that mindset, and then get out of it, we have very little time for it. (Can NOT wait to move the fuck out....)

It may be the masochist in me talking, or maybe I'm crazy in the head, but I really wanted Him to mess me up mentally today. Nothing beyond repair, mind you, but I just wanted and needed to have that done. Problem is, Master can't always seem to tap in to that. (MANIPULATED! Yeah...that sounds about right). He says He's really never had to, which I can understand that, but it doesn't make me want it less. (It would be so freaking hot if He could do the Vulcan Mind Meld or something. LOL I'm such a nerd).

I hope I'm making sense here.... And not sounding like a nutty freak.... I just think if mind manipulation is done right, and not in a way to harm someone, it can actually be a bit of a turn on. Does that make sense? I don't even know...

I dyed my hair red again today. It's very pretty. I love it, and Master loves it. It feels good to be a red head. I feel sexy with red hair. I feel like me. I have the fiery personality of a typical red headed person, so it just feels... perfect.

I think I should go to bed now...


Friday, September 23, 2011

Doubt Me All You Want

I was talking in a BDSM support thread on gaia, when I proposed my idea of doing the video's. I got some good responses, and I got a couple of responses basically telling me that I am too young to be considering doing this. They weren't really all that rude in my opinion. In fact, I daresay they were trying to look out for me, but I will say this, one of them told me that I was going to be wasting my time, and I just really couldn't let that slide by. 

I basically told them that just because I was a younger person, it did not mean that I had no clue what I was going to be talking about. I'm pretty certain that out of all of the younger generation out there in the lifestyle, only maybe half of them studied up on BDSM all the lifestyles and dynamics and such like I did. I have known, researched, asked questions to those who were really experienced, since I was 15 years old. This not mean that I know EVERYTHING, because I don't. I just know that I have far more knowledge than those of us "young ones" who just jumped head first into it after reading it up on some stupid wikipedia page.

I was as nice about it as I could be, but I informed them that just because they don't have faith in me not only because of my age, but because "it's been done hundreds of times" doesn't mean that I'm going to let two people that I don't know talk me out of doing something that I am rather passionate about. I do not need anyone's permission, outside of Masters', to make these educational video's.

One of my biggest reasons for making them are to show that just because some of us are really young, does not mean we do not know what we are doing. Some of us are intelligent and actually research shit before we ever actually get into it. Hell, Angel and Panda are another couple I know of that researched and read up before getting into their M/s relationship. So clearly, I'm not the only one. 

So doubt me all you want. Tell me I'm wasting my time, but to me even if people do not take me seriously, and ignore me, at least I can say that I tried, and that to me means that I did not waste my time. 


Thursday, September 22, 2011


I don't know what it is about me, but ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted to be a red head. It's not that I didn't love my natural dark brown hair color, because I do, but I feel that red suits me better. I started dying my hair when I was 16 and I seriously have not turned back ever since then. My hair has been black, dark blue, purple, and red. I've had my hair the color of red for over a year now, and no matter how many times I tell myself that I'm going to let my natural hair come back in, I dye it red again.

I think I have a problem.

An addiction to dying my hair? 

All I know is that something is up with me. I almost feel like it's something deeper. Not like I'm trying to change my identity or anything like that, but a part of me feels that with my regular hair color, I seem so... dull. I mean, it's a common color. A natural color, and it's dark. Maybe I want that to forever change because my natural hair is dark.. like the old me used to be...

I sound crazy....

I know Master likes my hair both ways. Hell, He didn't even mind when it was purple. In a way, I dye my hair for Him as well. I know that He likes me as a red head. Not necessarily "better", but He just really likes how I look with red hair.... 

I'm just sitting here thinking, and my roots have been showing for over a month now and every time I see them I just get slightly frustrated and I have this urge to go out and buy another box of dye and take care of it. The only reason I'm not doing that is because I'm trying to save money. That and I want my hair to be healthy and such. I have a feeling I'm killing my hair, and I love my hair.

This sounds so weird coming from me....

I don't know.... I'm a little confused as to what is going on with me. I think this goes beyond me being a "quirky" person....


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Birth Control and Video's

Here within the past three or four months, I've been having an awful time with my body. Despite being on birth control for about 4 or 5 years, my periods were starting become irregular again, and I started having break through bleeding/spotting in between periods. A lot of times the spotting was heavy enough for me to have to wear a tampon and a pad. I knew it was time to change my birth control and try something a lot more new to me. 

My annual check up was only a week away, so I decided I was just going to wait it out, even though I was having yet my third break through bleeding only after two and a half weeks after my last period. I decided it was time to change to Seasonique. This particular birth control puts a certain type of hormone into the body which causes the woman who is taking it to have only up to four periods a year. Hence, the name. Master and I are not planning on having kids for at least another 5-7 years, so I figured that since this will not only make my periods less frequent and less longer, I'll also be saving gobs of money from not having to buy so many tampon and pad packages! It's a win/win situation, so how in the world could I pass this up?

I was going to wait till today to start on my seasonique, but Monday afternoon made me change my mind rather quickly. When I first started having periods, they were awful! I would go through about 4 pads a day from the excessive blood flow I had, and to top it off, I would have cramps that would hurt so bad I couldn't even move, let alone walk. Ever since taking birth control, those two symptoms cleared up a lot and I hadn't had to worry about them for quite some time. Monday, however, they came back again for the first time in 5 years, and it was right in the middle of HJC where I was going to get my new class schedules for this quarter. 

I was walking around the building, feeling a little achy, but fine none-the-less, when right as I was about to walk up to one of the secretaries, it hit me. This horrible excruciating pain hit me in the uterine area and quickly traveled to my legs and ankles within a split second. This caused my knee's to buckle up, and I stopped in my tracks in mid stride. The second I stopped, my knee's gave out on me and I just dropped to the floor.

Nearly gave that woman a heart attack. She was sitting there going "Oh my gosh! Do I need to call an ambulance?!" I told her "No" and asked for a water so I could take some Alieve to help dull the pain. She ended up helping me off the floor, and by the time I got home, I was so worn out from the fall and the pain that was still running through my lower body, I ended up going back to sleep somewhere around 2 and didn't wake back up till a little after 5:30 when Master called me to let me know He was on His way to come get me.

Needless to say, I started my new birth control a couple days early, and I'm hoping that once this period is over, this stuff will do it's job and I'll end up having less periods to worry about. Those horrible cramps were the reason I started birth control in the first place, and I'll be damned if I have to go through them again. I hate not being able to not do anything, and I hate being in pain for 3 or 4 days while my period rules my world at that moment. 

On to other things!

I have set my mind on a new project of sorts. This does not mean I'm going to give up blogging though, so no one is getting rid of me that easily. I have decided that I am going to start making educational videos.... about... KINK! =D 

Well really, anything kink, BDSM, and anything else related. Granted, there are a few channels on youtube that have great qualities about them. but I have also seen more video's of people talking about BDSM and such with what seem to be an uneducated mind. Not saying ALL of them are like that, because they are not, but some are. Granted, I've only been living the lifestyle for two and a half years, but I'm pretty sure I can do this and I have enough knowledge to go on to do this. 

My Youtube channel is going to be called "Lets Talk Kink!" and now that I have just finished setting up the profile, (well not 100% finished, but I'm close enough) I'm going to start working on my first video which is going to be about the number one thing we should all think about before doing anything kink related. 

Is it safe? Is it sane? and Is it consensual?

So wish me luck on this! I hope this takes off, and I hope this gets a lot of reviews. I'm really excited about starting this new project! ^.^


Sunday, September 18, 2011

One Crazy Weekend!

I know, I know,, I'm making two new posts, pretty much back to back. I've gotta be nuts for this. Haha My last post was basically just about the cone fest this weekend, and I was just showing some of my favorite pictures that were taken this weekend. 

This post is being made to follow it up with all the nutty details that happened this weekend. Like, for example, I nearly got ran over this morning by some old dude with road rage! I'll get back to that later though.

As I stated in my other post, this weekend was the 6th annual Cone Fest in Ashland Kentucky of the Poage Landing Days festival. This was my second year going to this, and was a much anticipated event for me. I got to see all the skaters I've met over this past year, and it was just so awesome seeing them all again. These guys are my second family, and I'm so happy and blessed that I have these people as my friends. 

Master was skating in this event, as always, and ended up winning 1st place B class on Saturday, and then 3rd place B class on Sunday. Needless to say, I'm proud of Him, and very happy for Him. ^.^ 

Saturday, I spent running up and down the hill, trying to get all of the skateboard equipment to our spot, and everything else we brought with us. Then, I helped set up the boards, and set up the booth where the speaker was. Next thing I know, I'm running all over the place, and while running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I'm also managing to get pictures of the skaters. 

Down at the bottom of the hill, there is a police station, and the road after it, and the alley across from it, are blocked off by road blockades so that no one drives through there while the skaters are coming down the course. Granted.. those blockades get ignored.....

One thing I want to mention here before I go on a couple of mini tangents here, these guys are going pretty fast. On their boards, they can reach anywhere from 25 mph to 40 mph. So when all they have on are helmets, knee pads, and elbow pads, that's pretty freaking fast, and pretty freaking dangerous. 

There were countless times this year where myself, and some of the other volunteer's had to run to the bottom of the course to keep people from driving through. Later on though, something tragic nearly happened, and I thank god no one was hurt. One of our fastest racer's named Bobby Thomas (who is labeled as the 8th fastest slalom skater in the world. Yes WORLD, not U.S.) was racing down the hill, when some lady in an SUV pulled right onto the course. Bobby was literally FLYING down the course, and barely missed having a head on collision with the car. 

About this time Momma T, Master's mom, sprang into action, and was practically climbing into the womans' window screaming at her, telling her that she could have killed Bobby, and that when a "Road Closed" sign is up, that means the road is closed and she could not go through. Personally, I applaud Momma T  on this action, and so did everyone else. I think she scared that woman senseless though, because she came back later on, apologizing left and right, to which case, Momma T only had to ask "You do realize, that was highly dangerous, and you could have killed him if you had pulled out just a couple more feet?" 

I'm telling you, these people are freaking nuts. They are rude, and they have no respect for the authority.

Luckily, no one got hurt, Bobby is perfectly fine, and everything went right back to normal.

Later that evening, Master and I went to a roller skating event three blocks down from my house at a rink called Skateland. A few local kinksters met up with us, and everyone ended up having a blast, from what I could tell. I was worried everyone was going to think it was lame, but I was happy to know that all of us had a lot of fun. Some of them wanted to go somewhere else afterwards, but Master and I had been up since 6 that morning, and we had to be up around the same time this morning, so we headed out, took our friend Fluffy home, and headed to bed.

Now.. on to what I mentioned above.

Today.. Master and I were setting up some cones at the bottom of the other hill we go to every year. This hill is huge. At any rate, the police hadn't shown up yet with the blockades, so Master and I were setting up the cones to temporarily block any cars from going up the hill, and possibly, you know.. running anyone over. In this middle of this, some old guy, I'm guessing in his 50's and his wife pull up in this gold car. He lays on the horn at me, after I've told him he can't come through, waved my hands at him saying "No. You can't come this way." I continue setting the cones down, when suddenly, the asshole floors the car and misses hitting me by a mere foot, if that... 

Readers... I am telling you RIGHT NOW, I was so close to running up to his car, and fucking it up all to hell with some of the cones I had in my hands. Master and I were yelling at him to stop, but luckily some of the guys a little further ahead saw what happened and jumped right into action. They got the man to stop and got him turned around. I'm pretty sure Lenny was about to kick his ass, and I wouldn't have been surprised the other two guys would have joined in. After all, they not only violated the road rules, but they nearly ran my ass over. Thankfully, I was not hurt either, but you all can bet that I was rather pissed for a while after that. Master was actually rather pissed too, and He looked like He was about to go off. 

The rest of the day went a lot better though, and everyone had a blast. No one got hurt and things went really smooth. After the race, everyone received their awards, got group photo's taken, said our goodbyes and well packed up and headed our separate ways back to our homes. By the time Master and I got back to His place, we were so worn out, we didn't even bother unloading the car, but instead, headed upstairs to His room where we took a nap. 

The rest of the evening was rather mellow. We sat around the house, talked and had dinner with His parents, and just relaxed. It was sad to see everyone go, but we were very happy to be home where we could just chill out for the rest of the evening.

This weekend was fantastic, and other than a few bad things here and there, it could not have gone any better.


Cone Fest 6. (Pictures)

This weekend was the 6th annual Kentucky Fried Cone Fest, which is featured every single year during Poage Landing Days. As a little back ground history, my Master and His parents are real good friends with Lenny Poage, who's ancestors became the founders of Ashland, Kentucky. Every year, he holds a slalom skateboarding event that is called the Cone Fest. Last year was the first time I'd ever been to this event, and I have fell in love with seeing these guys race, and taking photos of them ever since. 

Master, doing what He does best.

This year was amazing. I had gone to several races just like this throughout the year, so I have become rather acquainted with "the guys" (or rather, the guys who show up to these events a lot), so they have become like family to me. These people have got to be some of the best people in the world. They are so loving and caring, and are basically a big bunch of teddy bears. However, mess with anyone they care about, and all of them will be there at your back, making sure you're alright, taking down anyone who tries to mess with you. Needless to say, I got a bunch of hugs this Saturday, and we were all happy to see one another.

This year, I kind of divided my attention up quite a bit. Last year, I spent most of my time taking pictures (which I did that this year too), but this time around, I made sure I was available to help out with setting up the courses and running any errands for them and just taking care of my new found skater family. 

Saturday: Hybrid Course

Sunday: Giant Slalom Course
I was all over the place! I ran those two hills like a freaking maniac. It was good exercise, but I still got to snap a lot of photo's of all the racers. By a lot, I mean nearly 1000 photo's. I had well over 900 pictures by the time today's race ended this afternoon. Haha A little overboard? No~! Never~!! The hard work I did this weekend helped though, and it was nice that some of the guys thanked me for what I did. 

Master ended up winning 1st place in B class this year on the hybrid course, and 3rd place in B class of the giant slalom course. I'm very proud of Him. ^.^

Father vs. Son on the hybrid course, Saturday morning.
Master and His dad get to go head to head each year.

The big group of skaters this year.

These guys come from all over the U.S.. Some of them from Michigan, Texas, Chicago, Minnesota, Florida, and even California. Each year, they commute for hours just to come hang out with us and have a great time. Luckily, they never seem to be disappointed either.

Having a good ole time.
Naturally, I wasn't the only one taking photo's at the event. Here are two pictures that a young photographer, Jeanna Justice, took of Master and myself. ^.^

Photographer: Jeanna Justice

Photographer: Jeanna Justice

As shown in the photo's we had beautiful weather all weekend long. Granted, it was very hot out, but no sign of rain for us, and it served to be another fantastic year. Lots of laughs were had, we had a few new people to this years race, and they had a lot of fun here too.

One guy in particular, is called Texas Eddy. (The name says it all). I had met him earlier this year at the St. Louis slalom event in June. Since then, I have lost a lot of weight, and he made sure I knew it. Not in a bad way though. He was very supportive, telling me that he was proud of me and that I should keep doing what I'm doing. He was very encouraging, saying things like "You're beautiful the way you are, but if this is what you want, keep at it. You're already doing a great job, sweetie." Seriously, Texas Eddy is the bomb, but not just because of that. He is one big cuddly bear, who is there to not only be a friend, but have a great time. He really warms my heart.

Me with Texas Eddy. I look goofy, but oh well. ^.^;
At any rate, I just want to say that I am very blessed to know these people, and to be able to attend these events. I love each and every one of them with all of my heart, and I can't wait to see them all again.

To follow up, here are a few more pictures I took this weekend, that I found rather artistic. (Also, yes, I took all of these pictures, except for the two I posted that Jeanna took). Enjoy them. ^.^


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Surprise Scene

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. I have not felt like I was floating like this in a long time. It feels amazing.

Today, Master decided to surprise me a little with a nice scene. One that we have never done before. First, Master had me lay face down to give me a nice relaxing back massage. He used this device that has two balls sticking out of it that vibrate when it's turned on. Needless the say, the vibrations on my back quickly set me in a relaxed state.

After the massage, He had me undress all the way and suggested that I pull my iPod out and make a playlist for this particular scene. Some of the songs included; DirtyLosRein Raus, Zydrate Anatomy, and Set It Off Like Napalm. He then blindfolded me and taped my headphones into my ears.

As soon as the music started playing, He jumped straight into action. Since I was blindfolded, I wasn't aware that He had put a pair of the gloves I had in my purse on. (You know, the kind you get at a doctors office?) As soon as I felt Him touch me with those on, my body immediately reacted to His touch, and thus began the tingly sensation flowing through me. He started touching me all over, toying with me and putting his gloved fingers into my mouth, making me lick and suck on them. He eventually worked His hands down to my thighs, gently caressing me, and worked his fingers into my already soaking pussy. 

He rubbed the inside of my cunt, writhing His fingers in and out of me, slowly, making my body give into Him and begging for more. He then withdrew, and rubbed my juices all over my chest and stomach, making sure He put every last drop on my body. Master got started on my breasts, rubbing and squeezing them, fondling with my nipples, which caused my body to writhe underneath Him. 

I remember starting to feel worked up by this point, when He kind of started gently smacking my face and pushing on my face, occasionally holding my face as to say "don't move". Normally, this would have pissed me off, but in this particular situation, I was actually loving it. He was starting to rough me up, and it was something that I definitely needed, and wanted. 

He continued to work his fingers around my clit, till I was close to cumming, in which I quickly took over and forced myself to cum for Him, letting out moans that stifled the music play in my ears. One powerful orgasm down, and He had barely touched me.

I felt Him move away from me for a few seconds, before He placed Himself, sitting on my thighs. I felt His slight movement, but I had no idea what was about to happen next. After all, I was blindfolded and had music playing in my ears the whole time. Suddenly, I felt an all too familiar substance being pressed to my lips and around my lips. Master had placed duct tape over my mouth. 

He then ran this small square package down my chest and stomach, it wasn't before too long that I realized He had got a condom out and placed it upon His cock. He then started the fuck me. My only source for a breath of fresh air was if I were to breathe through my nose. What made it even better, is that my moans were stifled by the duct tape holding my lips in place. 

He nipped at me a little, and licked my neck and ears, causing my body to work itself even closer to His. I was loving every single bit of it, and craving more. It wasn't too terribly long before He and I were coming together. Not as powerful as the first, but still a good orgasm, none-the-less. He got up from the bed, lifted my blindfold, and I saw Him mouth the words "I'll be right back." He then placed my hands on my soaking wet cunt, and I could tell that He wanted me to play with myself some more. 

I began working my fingers in circular motions around and on my clit, bringing myself to a third and far more powerful orgasm. Just as I came, though, Master had already been back, and He began working on my clit again. This resulted in my back arching up towards him, and my body becoming stiff with pleasure. He then let go of me and guided me back to the bed, where I was made to turn over on my stomach.

Knowing what this meant as well, I got on all fours and proceeded to position myself the way Master likes. My back straight, my ass sticking in the air, and my legs partially spread so He could gain access to my cunt at any given time. He then proceeded to hit my ass with what I perceived to be the bamboo cane. I was so out of it by this point, that even the hard swats caused me to moan and wiggle my ass with excitement. It didn't even hurt. He alternated a few other stingy and thuddy toys, but being as dazed as I was, I couldn't make heads or tales of what they were, how long He hit me with them, or how many times He hit me all in all. 

He even started taking whacks at my cunt, and according to Him I was "eating it up and loving it." and to be honest, I really think I was. I didn't even care that He was hitting my cunt pretty hard, it all felt great, and if I had had it my way, it wouldn't have ended so soon. Sadly though, Master had things to take care of, but He promised me another scene here soon that will be even better. (Like that matters, this scene was hot). 

So here I am, a couple hours later, still floating and feeling like I'm in heaven. Everything was in perfect harmony this evening. The music, being blindfold, not being able to talk, all the sensations were heightened. I.. don't even know how do describe it any better. This is the most amazing I have felt in a long time. I know one thing is for certain, this is one scene that I sure as hell would not mind repeating a few more times in the future.


Sunday, September 11, 2011

This Weekend Rocked!!

So yesterday was fantastic to begin with, and just when I thought things were going to wind down and such, today became just as awesome.

This evening, Masters' parents decided to treat me to dinner at a restaurant that I have been wanting to go to for a long time now. Hibachi Steak House. I regret one thing, and that is that I forgot my camera at Masters' house. We got to watch a guy make our meals right in front of us, and he did this thing with his cooking utensils that was pretty awesome. It was as if his utensils themselves were dancing around his hands. That wasn't the most amazing part though. He had 4 foot tall flames shooting off the cooking surface that gave heat off all around the room. It was AWESOME! (especially for a fire lover like myself, AKA: Pyromaniac)

One wouldn't think cooking would take much skill, but for him it was more like watching art made with food. To top it all off, it was delicious! Sadly I didn't finish it all, but I will eat the left over's tomorrow for lunch or something.

After we finished our awesome dinner, we drove to a spot in downtown Huntington to watch these birds flock in for the evening. This... was the most incredible, amazing, freaky thing I have ever seen. Literally thousands of birds... flying over head, and in giant flocks. I mean.. I REALLY wish I had my camera on me, you have no freaking clue. Here, I'll just show you a picture that Masters' mom took, and this doesn't even do it justice...

I mean.. that really doesn't do it justice at all. Now imagine all those birds, multiply by 5 and that is about how many we saw tonight. Now imagine that they are only a mere 7 feet above your head, and thousands of those birds are just flying all around you. That shit was crazy intense! There were so many low to the ground that a few of them flew into a near by building, but the good part was that they were okay and none of them got hurt. Granted, even if a few did, it wouldn't have put much of a dent at all of that huge mass of birds. 

They all flocked to these two tree's and the trees were so full of those birds that you couldn't even see the leaves on the tree's. The chirping was so freaking loud too. It was nuts!

I will say this much though, I am very blessed to have the people in my life that I do. Angel is one amazing girl, and she really brings a smile to my face. Another great thing, is that I am blessed that Masters' parents care as much about me as they do. Not even my own parents would have taken me out to a fancy restaurant like that, but that does not mean my parents are not supportive. Hell, my mom is paying for my schooling, just so long I keep my A's. So that is another thing I am truly grateful for. 

I know it sounds silly, because none of you live the life I do, but to know that my Masters' parents love me as much as they do, and care about my future like they do, it is just... I feel so amazing. I have no idea why, but all I want to do is make them proud of me, and I could tell tonight, 100% that I am succeeding in that category. What really got me though, and actually made me cry (good cry) was that they said they loved me, and that I was like family to them. That touched my heart in ways one could never imagine.

All in all, this was an awesome weekend, and it could not have gone better.


Saturday, September 10, 2011

One Fantastic Saturday!

In fact, fantastic doesn't do this day justice. Magnificent? Wonderful? How about all of the above?!

Today started off amazing. I looked online to check my final scores, only to find out that I got a 3.75 GPA with Three A's and a B+. That made my day right off the bat, and what made it even better was that both of my parents were really proud of me, as well as my family, some friends, and my Master's parents. This day got even better, though.

Later on, Master and I got to enjoy a shower together, and have fun messing around with one another and such. After the shower, we went out for steak at UNO's. Best. Treat. Ever. Rare steak as a reward for doing so well on my first quarter? Awww yeah~! It was amazing, and tasted so freaking good.

After that, we headed to Master's grandma's house where we got on the V-Strom, and rode it all over Huntington. (In case you have know idea what I speak of, it's a really comfortable motorcycle). The ride was nice, and it felt great to be on the back of a motorcycle again. After that we headed back to His house where we fed the dogs, and engaged in somewhat aggressive sex, where Master took me from behind and used me. 

Not too terribly long later, we ventured to Panda and Angel's place where we watched A Game of Thrones, played some board games, and watched more Game of Thrones. Things, however, did get interesting. While playing the games, Angel leaned over to try and kiss me, in which case I really was not paying attention cause I was looking towards the table/floor. I missed my chance for a first kiss with her! 

Not going to lie, I felt bad, because I really was not trying to ignore her, I was just putting my head down cause I was blushing and such. Things turned for the better though. I was told that if I won a game of Apples to Apple, my prize would be to kiss her. Needless to say, I won the game, and earned my awesome prized fair and square.

I knew they all expected us to just give us a quick "peck" on the lips and that just be it, but I knew from the start, it was not going to happen that way. When she leaned in, I pulled her closer to me, and kind of held her face as I kissed her somewhat passionately. Poor Angel, she thought she did a bad job. Honestly, I've kissed some bad kissers in my short life, and she does not even deserve that title. Sure it was a tad awkward, but honestly, her kisses were soft, and sweet. I loved them!

This, of course, took both of our Masters by surprise, and I remember hearing Panda go "Whoa~! Oh wow!" or something like that. I was more focused on Angel. XD

Afterwards, we sat on the floor to watch more Game of Thrones, and we kind of nuzzled one another here and there. I wish I had put my arm around her and held her or something, but I didn't know if she would have wanted that or not, so I just sat next to her and was happy with the accomplishment we had just made. 

After the next two episodes, Master and I got ourselves together, and was headed out the door, when Panda told Angel to give me a goodbye kiss. I didn't object, and the goodbye kiss was sweeter than before. *glows and beams with pride* Yay for kissing the pretty lady known as Angel!!! x3

Needless to say, I will be going to bed tonight with a smile on my face. This was the best Saturday I have had in a long time. 

I will say this much, before I end this post, it is really nice to know that Angel and I have become this close. I really trust her, and I'm just so lucky to have such a wonderful person in my life. I hope many kisses and snuggles and such end up being more to come. ^.^

Goodnight world, and God. You have done me well today, and I thank you.


If you wish to see Angels' view of yesterday, here is her blog post about it. ^.^

The Results Are In~! =D

So yesterday was my last day of finals, and it also happened to be my last day of the quarter. 

START THE DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!!! *drum roll commences* 



I GOT A 3.75 GPA! I had three A's and a B+! 

So for the next two weeks, I get to just chill, and be happy. ^.^

I'm so freaking proud of myself, and my parents, family, and even Masters' parents are really proud of me. ^.^ This is really good.

Not going to lie though, I cried when I saw it. This right here is the best day of my life. And later on, I get to go see my friends Angel and Panda! =D SO YAY~!!!!!!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

4 Things I Never Knew About Myself...

Till I got older.

I was pondering things like "How did I become what I am today?" not too long ago (actually minutes, if we want to get real technical) and it clicked. I've been like this my whole life, but was too young to understand it, or grasp it when it really started showing. So here are the first 4 things, right off the top of my head that I can think of. The "red flags" I had for all of my life, and what would later make me the person I am today.

# 1: I've Always Been Submissive by Nature

This one is the easiest and well... the more pronounced one in my life, so we'll knock this out of the water right here and now. 

It's simple, really. As a kid, I was always seeking out to please people. Especially my friends. The close friends I had? I'd die for them, if I had to. But what makes me so different is not that, exactly. What makes me realize now, that I've been like this my whole life, is that the people who I was very close to, I would literally do anything for them. You know, except if it got me into trouble, but there were times where I did those too. As I got into my preteen years, it only progressed more. Suddenly, I started doing back flips and somersaults for these people! No, I kid, but seriously, I would endure long grueling hours on the phone just to listen to C (We'll call her C, because I don't like naming names too much) bitch and complain about stupid shit. I cared more about her than I did myself, and honestly that wasn't good. Mainly because she had always been a bad influence to me. I did things to make her happy, that ended with me doing things I am not proud of. 

Now, do NOT get me wrong. I am not saying being submissive is a bad thing, but when someone is a preteen who doesn't know where their place is in life, he/she can and probably do some crazy shit. Not saying all submissives do this either, but this is how I projected it, and as you can see, it was a rather unhealthy way to do it. Later on, once I got older and started researching a bit, I learned what I was, and what I had been doing my whole life. It explained a lot more about me than what words could ever convey. I ended up "taking control" (so to speak) of my actions and I learned that I didn't have to be that way. I didn't have to be walked all over.

I guess the point I'm trying to make, is that I had submissive tendencies, but because I was so little, and had no idea what that was, or what I was doing, I ended up showing that "submissive side" of me through acts that I later on realized I never had to deal with in the first place. Once again, not saying all submissive people are like this, but this was how I was, and if my readers knew me on a personal level, they would probably understand more. (So much for easy huh?)

# 2: I Am an Empath

Now here is where things start getting a little tricky... The best way to describe this is that as long as I could remember, I have always been able to sympathize with those around me. To a high level. There have been a lot of cases where I could just be in the same room as someone, and suddenly, I would come down with this overwhelming amount of emotion. At those times, I thought they were mine, but once again, came to a realization after I got older. 

The most extreme case with me was when my friend H was really upset over something. This was the weirdest thing ever, as I had never done this before. H was on the verge of tears one day, but for some reason could not cry. I remember sitting there holding her. She was my best friend and I didn't want her to be in so much pain... So what happened next came to a big shock to both of us. Instead of her crying, I started crying. I didn't even try, and it was something that just happened. It was as if I took her emotions into me, and shed those tears for her. The odd part? I didn't even feel like crying, or that I was going to. It just happened. 

Needless to say, that was when it really clicked with me that I can easily feel what others feel, especially those extreme emotions like hatred, fear, deep sadness, and overwhelming happiness. Luckily, I know how to keep it tame, for the most part, but every once in a while, I'll slip, and start feeling other's emotions more-so than my own. (It's called blocking them)

# 3: I've Always Been a Sexual Person

 This one I actually went over in one of my more recent blog posts, but I will revise, because it is a bit of a long read. Basically, I have always been aware of my sexuality ever since I was a kid. In fact one of the best ways I can express myself to my Master is through sex. I can only have sex with someone if I feel a deep connection with them, and if I love them. But I also know ways of turning people on and honestly, if I REALLY wanted to, I could use that to my advantage. Being an empathetic person can pay off. Thankfully, though, I am not that kind of person, so I don't do that.

Long story short though, sex/sexual acts is how I can fully communicate with my body, and I've done it for years without even really realizing it. Hell, most of it is just in my body language, and comes so naturally to me, that I've been accused of flirting, and wasn't really flirting, at least not in my eyes.

# 4: A Monster Lives Within Me

Okay, so this is more metaphorical than anything. That "monster" I speak of is the best way to describe this thing that comes out of me when I am at my limits. It's more so "seen" when I am really really REALLY pissed off. 

That's it. Story time again!

One day, in the 8th grade, a friend of mine (We'll call him T) really irked my nerves. I don't exactly remember everything, as that was a long time ago, and the angry state I was in pretty much made that whole day a blur... for the most part.... I remember trying to talk to T, but he would just laugh in my face, and basically treat me like a dumb ass. (BIG no no when it comes to me). Things escalated and by the time "it" reared it's happy little head, I was practically in a fit of "blind rage".

Another friend, E, (and no, not my Master) tried stepping in to be a "mediator" to get me to cool down. Needless to say, I shot him one simple look, that (I shit you not) sent him packing in a split second. We're not talking about one of those moments where the outside person is just like "Whoa.. better leave her alone." It was more like I scared my poor friend so bad with this one look that not only did he back off and seriously went into the fetal position, (if you think I'm joking, you're horribly wrong) but he has never dared crossed my path since. In fact, if I even show any sliver of anger, he will seriously go the other direction and leave before "shit hits the fan". 

This was not my intention, and come to find out later, when I finally got him to see I wasn't going to do anything to him, (I really don't think you understand how bad that looked scared him...) he talked to me about what he saw in my eyes. This isn't word for word as, like I said, most of this was a blur, but I do remember this one bit of detail that will stick with me till I die.

He said something along the lines of "I saw something in you today that looked more inhuman than ever. It looked like something had got a hold of you and possessed you or something. Please don't ever look at me like that again. I don't like to see that side of you.... I thought you were going to kill me with just your eyes alone...." As if that wasn't hurtful enough, knowing that I had pretty much scarred my friend for life, he didn't look at me, not once, when he spoke to me that day. 

There has only been one other situation where I ever got that mad again, and I got to see myself first hand when I looked into the mirror, and I have to say... the look in my eyes, when I'm at that point, are definitely inhuman. It's really bad when a person can scare themselves with their own eyes. Luckily for me, I know how to keep my anger at bay, and I have better control over my emotions than I used to. 

Sure, it doesn't sound that serious to you, my readers, but when I experienced things like that for myself, it was very hard to come to terms with.

Well, I hope you had fun getting to know me a little better, and even if no one read this, it felt good to get some of those things out.


Monday, September 5, 2011

Weekend of Ups and Downs

So things did not get to go according to plan this weekend, in fact, I spent most of it at Master's house basically doing nothing. Friday night I was supposed to attend a ghost hunt with my father, Master, Angel, and Panda. Sadly, the weather was really hot and I'm fairly sure it was 100 degrees outside, so that plan got tossed out the window that very afternoon. So instead of getting down in the dumps about it, Master and I ended up making Friday evening "our evening" and we indulged ourselves in some well wanted/needed needle play. 

The feel of those needle gliding under my skin and through the other side, and Master running His fingers over the slightly raised skin. I never thought I would say it, but it got me damn near close to cumming. I have no idea what it was all about, as that has never happened before, but by the time Master was done with that, I was soaking wet and had a nice puddle forming on Master's sheets. 

He also ended up putting my play collar on me, and leading me around the house by my leash. All the while, He had me degrade myself. I was calling myself His "dirty little whore", His "filthy fuck toy", etc. while following behind Him down the hallway, and as if I wasn't wet enough from before, I'm pretty sure by that time, I was wet on the outside of my cunt. 

He then proceeded to whip, and spank me till my ass felt hot from all the blood rising to the surface, still forcing me to call myself all kinds of degrading things. And to top it all off? He wouldn't even bother fucking me! Instead, He would rub His cock all over my ass and lightly graze my cunt, but refused to go inside me. In the end, He pleasured Himself till He came all over my ass and thigh, "marking" me with His hot seed. I didn't even care that I hadn't came, even though the energy flowing through us put me on edge so much, that I'm sure all He would have had to do was touch my clit to send me off in an instant.

The rest of that evening was a blur, as I was rather content with how everything else went. I had zero cares in the world.

Saturday, I was supposed to work but that changed as a friend switched shifts with me. It was probably for the better because for some reason I was not feeling... emotionally well. My stresses of the week came rushing back to me that very morning, and little things were setting me off and putting me into a "lets cry our eyes out" day. Heck, I don't even know why I tried asking to hang out with Angel and Panda that afternoon. It didn't work out, and it's another thing that was probably for the best. I didn't need to be around people with my stress and hormonal levels as high as they were. (Not that I didn't want to see them, I just didn't want to not be any fun, so that is why it worked out). 

Instead, later that afternoon when I was feeling a lot better, Master and I went out and bought Portal 2. This game is amazing. I had played the first 2 or 3 chapters of it when I was at a friends house months ago and was hooked on it since. So finally, I had it in my grasp. We sat down from the moment we got there, till almost midnight doing nothing but playing Portal 2. I have not had a gaming session like that in a long time, and it felt great. By then end of last night, I was not worried about anything, and one may say that I re-released my stress. 

Yesterday, I actually went in to work, and yet another set of plans was ruined by the time I got off work. Master was going to pick me up from work on His dad's Harley, and we were going to go for a ride that evening. THANKS RAIN! >=/

The weather decided it would roll some clouds in and dump cold rain all over us, and it did. It rained so hard that the parking lot was basically a mini lake out there. I was bummed, to say the least, but I was still going to see Master, so all was well anyways. We spent the rest of our evening playing... (if you guessed Portal 2, you're absolutely WRONG!... No.. you're right... We did, and it was AWESOME). So we're playing non-stop again, and the game gets better and better and before we know it, it's past 11pm... again! 

Today, we didn't get to play Star Wars with our friends, which was expected, anyways, so we ended up playing some more Portal 2, and managed to beat it. Yeah.. hadn't even had it for 48 hours before we beat it. We're hard core! XD The ending was interesting, and gave us a few chuckles here and there, so I can easily say I was pleased. I'd play it through all over again.

Of course, it was still dumping rain on us all day, so we stayed inside most of today, and other than playing that game and doing some studying on the side and such, not much happened. That is, until later this evening. We were sitting at dinner with His parents and something popped into my head that I thought had been laid to rest a few months back when it had actually happened.

I won't go into details, but Master had said something to me one night, a few months ago, that really hurt me. At the time, I pretty much just said "whatever" and shrugged it off. For some reason, tonight was the night it decided to rise back to the surface, and it just got to me. We ended up going up stairs after dinner and talking it out. The conversation, however, left a bad taste in my mouth, and needless to say I was not in the best of moods. 

Once again, something odd and shocking happened in this not-so-happy-situation, and we went from hardly talking to having a full blown wrastle match on His bed. I was pinning Him down, and then He was rolling me over and pinning me down, and we were just contorting our bodies and laughing and having a good time. We kind of hurt one another a little bit in the midst, but that is nothing aside the norm, and somewhat expected. Other than getting a little hurt, we were having a great time.

It was nice that we were laughing and smiling with one another again. We don't fight that often, but when we do, the tension really hangs in the air, and it's something that is not good for either of us. Having our little wrastle matches really does some wonders, as we get to let off steam and be physical with one another, but it never turns into anything violent or angry. I never thought rough housing would really help, but it does, and we always end up right where we belong; in each others arms, smiling, laughing, and just being happy again.

I'm just glad we're okay again. I don't like being upset with Master, and I know He doesn't like being upset with me. Overall, even though a few plans got ruined, this weekend really wasn't all that bad, and I'm okay with that.


Thursday, September 1, 2011

A Quick Summary of Things

So things have been a little time consuming for me lately. I have been preparing for finals, and I have tests every week, practically all week long. So studying has been coming before pretty much everything else in my life. On top of that, Master is back in classes again, so these past two weeks have been... tiring. 

Yesterday, however, I got to sit down with Angel at her house again, and we talked all afternoon long like we always do. If you haven't read my other posts, Angel and I really like one another, and we're not really in a relationship or anything. In fact.. I have no idea what to call it, because it's far more than play partners or friends with benefits. Hell.. we don't even do the "benefits" part either! GAH! Anyways, we were kind of talking about us, so to speak, and how I was embarrassed and such because I pretty much freaked out in the beginning. Not sure why I brought it up, but I just... I really want to hold her, maybe even kiss her. 

..Yes.. Kiss her too. *blush* Mrerrrr~! >.<;

So while I was there, she ended up giving me some of her nipple jewelry that she didn't think she'd ever use because she couldn't figure out how to get it on, plus she din't think she'd get her nipples pierced again. She said if I figured out how to get them on, I could have them. Well, I figured it out! ^.^ And they are pretty freaking cute! (Thanks Angel!! <3)

She also gave me something else, that I couldn't wait to use. A VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film). It's this spermicide film that a girl can put into the vagina (preferably against the cervix) and it can kill sperm for up to three hours. I have NEVER heard of this before, and I honestly don't know why. This stuff is brilliant! She only gave me one, but one is enough because this doesn't seem like something we'd keep doing. At least.. not now. 

Master and I ended up using it today, and it was the first time we had unprotected sex to the full extent till we both came. Funny enough, we planned it out, that I would cum first so my cervix didn't suck His semen into my uterus if He were to cum into me. He ended up pulling out and cumming all over my stomach, which, not going to lie, was pretty hot. I'd post the pic on here, but.. I don't quite feel comfortable with it. This blog is far more open than fl is so anyone could see it. Yeah. Not risking that. Back to that film though, another thank you to Angel for that as well. Totally made our evening. XD 

Tomorrow night, Master, Angel, Panda, myself, and my dad are all going to the Woodmere cemetery to do some ghost hunting. This will be a first time hunt for all of us, except my father who was the tech manager for the Huntington Paranormal group here. We're all pretty excited, and I will DEFINITELY make a post about it and how it went. If I get any pictures of any apparitions or anything, you can bet I will post them on here with my blog as well.  

Also, I had some glow stick fun in the car on the way home from Master's house tonight.

So as of right now, I am one happy kitty. ^.^