Truly... I am Owned

Lately things have been extremely busy around here, which is why I have not had much time to make a post. I've been focusing more on my schooling and Master more than anything else this past month, and everything else has pretty much taken a back seat. 

I've been working more on serving Master and doing what He wants, rather than doing what I want. I've learned that I have been a far happier person with making Him happy, and it's felt nothing short of amazing. 

This past weekend was pretty awesome on its own. Usually I do not like the term "being used" but this has been something I have learned to accept and even come to love. Something about being used by Him has made me feel incredibly free. 

What has made me feel so appreciative over Him was the conversation we had the other morning. I am supposed to get my hair cut this Friday, and I have been feeling a little hesitant the past few days because He is going to be the one who pays for my hair cut. For most of our relationship, I have paid for everything I do, most of the time I paid for my food, and definitely paid for my haircuts. 

I had told Him I was feeling incredibly uncomfortable with this concept, and was thinking of cancelling my hair appointment. He asked why and I explained myself. I don't like the idea that He was using His money on me. (I recently had to quit my job because they had not given me any hours in 2 months. I was sick of the place anyways). What he said next kind of caught me off guard, but instantly put me in the best head space ever. 

He spoke "Well, you are my slave, my property, and I want to pay for that hair cut. Since you are my property, I am going to do what I want to do with you, and I'm going to pay for that hair appointment. Is that understood?" 

I couldn't help it. A smile crept across my face and I just replied with a simple "Yes, Sir." or maybe it was "Yes, Master." I forget now.. but for some reason that response from Him just made me melt in the passenger seat of His car. 

Perhaps it was they way He said it, but I truly felt owned the very second He said that. A huge part of me loves that I can finally feel comfortable with this. It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable with giving up my "rights" (so to speak) and give into His wishes, wants, and whims. 

For once, I feel okay. I feel happy that our relationship has ended up this way, and I have never felt more submissive to Him in my life. I think I'm finally understanding what it means to be happy by serving Him. One step at a time, I'm learning how free I can be by serving Him, and I've never felt better about myself.

~*~Anastassia~*~