Curtsy

Master and I have our moments where sometimes it feels like our dynamic is slightly faltering and we talk about it to see what can be improved and where things are going awry. To be perfectly honest, sometimes I feel as if Master is too easy on me and lets me get away with more things than I probably should. I spoke with Him about this and He agreed with me. 

This evening, Master decided that what He really wants the most out of me is for me to "act like a lady." I'm not the most feminine of girls. Truthfully, I'm more of a tomboy than anything. I hate skirts and dresses, despite Master protesting that I look good in them. The only thing girly I really do is wear make-up on occasion and keep up with my hair and body. I'm most comfortable in a T-shirt and jeans and that is mostly what you'll see me wearing.

I digress, though, as this is more about what has taken place this evening. 

One key thing Master has ordered me to do from here on out is curtsy to Him. (I'm cringing just thinking about it, really). I've never been one for the whole "princess" type gestures and in my opinion this is something you'd see in a movie about royal families back in the era of kings and queens ruling countries and such. 

To put simply, I find it awkward and a tad demeaning.

Master, however, disagrees. He says this is a form of showing respect. So what Master wants, Master gets... No matter how embarrassed I feel about it. Literally.

I was in the middle of watching a video when He told me to stop watching it and stand up. Hesitantly, I did as He said and He motioned for me to come to the middle of the room where He stood. 

"I'm going to teach you to curtsy for me."

"Right now?"

"Yes, Anastassia. Right now."

He then demonstrated to me how He wished for me to curtsy for Him and I immediately felt embarrassed and ready to back down. I protested against it and He grabbed me and forced me to do it. 

"See? It's not so bad. Now curtsy for me."

"But Maste-!"

"Curtsy! Now..." He said while giving me a stern look.

I stumbled a tad while going through the motions and doing it just like He showed me.

"Oh come on. You can do better than that. Curtsy three more times and we'll be done for now."

"Three?!" I said in disbelief. "It's like you really get a kick out of embarrassing me."

"That is beside the point. Now do it three times."

1 curtsy

Master had His arms folded and was smirking at me. I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment as I attempted the second and faltered short.

"What was that? Do it again. That was half a curtsy."

"That was totally a curtsy!"

I curtsied again. "There!" Stammering around and feeling completely defenseless for some reason. 

"That was two. Do another one. That second one did not count."

"But Master.."

"Do it now, Anastassia."

"I don't want to, Sir... I've done all three like you said."

Master advanced on me and grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me close and almost growled into my ear, "You will do it again and you will do it right. Once you do it, then you may be seated only after I give you permission. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Sir.."

After regaining my balance, I curtsied a third time and was then shortly after given permission to sit back down on the couch. 

I don't know how well I'm going to take to this whole curtsy thing. I feel almost stupid and belittled doing it, but I guess in due time I'll learn to love it, just like everything else Master has ever wanted me to learnt o do for Him. I'm trying to maintain the attitude that Master knows what is best and He deserves for me to do what He wants. I think this will certainly be a struggle to overcome, and I hope I can do it and keep a positive attitude about me while doing it.

I do admit that it was kind of hot the way He took charge of me, though. Something about the air about Him when He does things like that just strikes me inside and out. I have a feeling things are about to get more interesting around here. I just hope I can push through and make Him proud of me. Wish me luck.

~*~Anastassia~*~