Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Anger Management: Some People Just Need It...

And my father is definitely one of those people.

I was sitting here enjoying a nice read that one of my friends posted up on fet, when suddenly I heard the all-too-familiar screams of my dad coming from the living room and penetrating my closed bedroom door. I also noted the sounds of him banging (what I know) is his computer mouse on his desk as hard as he can. All the while screaming every cuss word in the book and calling the inanimate object, known as his computer, a "whore" and various other indecent what-not's.

Knowing that my cousin is in the room with him, and knowing if I asked out loud I would get some pretty nasty remarks and get yelled at (per usual), I texted said cousin and asked him what the problem was this time. The response I got was not surprising, but somewhat amusing on a sarcastic note.

"He accidentally turned on his jet engines and almost crashed into a building." (My dad has a flight simulator game he plays and has remotes for it and crap attached to his computer desk).

*Insinuate a face palm here*

He gets pissed off over stupid crap like this on a daily basis. It's a wonder this man hasn't had a heart attack by now, or died of stress. I mean really, it's a damn miracle.

Let me give you another example that I still laugh over to this day. 

Back when I was a freshman in high school, I came home one afternoon from school and dad was messing around on his computer. Nothing new. My guess is that he happened to get a virus on his computer at some point, because his desktop was lagging out. 

Per usual, he was screaming and cussing at his computer (I was in the kitchen next to him, which was where the computer was at the time, getting myself an after school snack) when suddenly I caught out of the corner of my eye my dad punching the monitor swiftly and hard. As soon as I noted this, I looked over in time to see the look of shock and horror on my fathers face as we both saw the screen go black.

I have never seen a bigger crack on a screen than what he caused on his computer monitor. It was impressive. *Dripping with sarcasm on that impressive part*

Needless to say, his anger got the best of him once again, and mom was not too happy about this either. A good deal of money was spent so he could have a new monitor again. (I still think she shouldn't have shelled out the money, because dad didn't have a job at that time, and he should have lived with his dumb act of anger).

Luckily his out-lash of physical anger has mainly been put towards inanimate objects, but his rage issues don't stop there. When it comes to verbal anger, he is the king of it, and let me tell you.. that is the one part of his anger he points at other people. Mainly me and my mother. (I really don't see how she hasn't divorced him yet. I couldn't have a husband who acted as childish and angry as what he does. I can barely stand him as a father).

He threatens, he screams, and he doesn't mind cussing you out in the privacy of his home. Get him around his friends? It's like he is a completely different person. Instead he makes you look like the bad person, and then unleashes the angry screams again at home, in private. I REALLY don't know how he does it.

Truly, this man needs help. I promise you, if I acted ANYTHING like what he does, someone would have reported me by now, and I'd be forced into some anger management classes. Which brings me to my main point... my dad REALLY needs anger management classes. I have never witnessed a person so full of hate in my entire 21 1/2 years of life, and I sincerely hope I don't meet anyone who is worse than him.

I hate to say it, but with each passing year, it seems like his anger level heightens and it puts me off more and more. It's getting to the point, I don't like having friends around him (for fear of him acting out like that around them. It's embarrassing) and even worse, he doesn't realize that his own petty actions are making me not want to have any of my (possible, future) kids around him either. I don't like him the way he is, and I certainly don't want my kids learning those habits.

What is even sadder? His enormous ego would never let him listen to any of us about this serious problem he has, and instead, he'll treat anyone who mentions it to him like an idiot. (Trust me. I know from personal experience).

Really... how can you reason with someone like this? It worries me. I'm afraid one day he is going to let his anger get the best of him and he is going to seriously hurt someone, like me, or my mom (and my mom is crippled enough as it is. She is literally defenseless. If you want to know more, look up the disease Osteogenesis Imperfecta. That is what she has). And then what?

Most of you will not understand my level of fear on this, because most of you have no idea what my father is like, but know this. None of this is exaggerated at any point, and that is honestly the worst part of this whole mess. I wish it were exaggerated.

So what do you all think? Anyone know someone like this? Was there any solutions you came up with that worked? Were there any that didn't? 

I really don't want to end up excluding my dad from my life, and my future children's life, but right now he is a majorly bad influence, and I do not wish to expose myself to any more of his violence than what I've already had to.



  1. Your dad sounds verbally abusive. The only difference between him and a textbook abuser is that he doesn't actually hit you. But hitting things is bad enough. And the fact that he takes his rage out verbally is awful enough as it is. Get him help, or if he won't take help, stay as far away as you can until he does. For your own sake, and safety. Eventually, hitting things won't be enough.

  2. That is what I am afraid of as well. Hence why if he doesn't learn to control himself or attempt to seek help, I won't want him around my children (when and if I have them).