Monday, January 10, 2011

I Can Already Feel the Pressure.

It's day one of Master starting back up his classes after his month long winter break in between semesters, and things are already starting to get stressful. It seems silly, but it's rather upsetting that I'll be spending less time with Him, since after all, this past month we have spent literally, every single day together. Now was this a mistake? In my eyes, no, but I will admit that maybe it wasn't the best because we have grown so used to seeing each other so much in such a little amount of time, that it is effecting me in a rather negative way. On top of that, Master is also taking it hard. I don't think He's taking it as hard as I am though....

Then again, I could be wrong....

I sit back and think to myself "How did we make it this far? How did we get through it in the past?" And oddly enough.. I'm not really sure. It's all just a blur now. All I know is that somehow, we've made it this far, and we have had lots of fun along the way. I guess.. we just took it day by day for over the last two years....

Maybe I'm just hormonal because I'm riding the crimson tide... I don't know...

What makes it so stressful though, is not the fact that He has ADHD and sometimes forgets things, nor that He sometimes can't take things seriously and makes annoying noises, or even that my time with Him has been cut partially. What gets me the most is that His mom is always stepping in. I understand that she has helped Him all these years with schooling and making sure He has been on top of things because His ADHD has him constantly running his brain at 90mph, but I just pray that some day He can finally deal with life without his damn mom. She's always asking Him things, interrupting moments that we are having because she is wanting to know if He got some damn email about puppies or some shit. UGH~!!!! >.<;

Okay, maybe I should stop raging.. that's lame, I know. Mreh..

Just.. I just want Master to not rely on His mom and dad so much. I want to be able to get a place with Him, move out of both our parents houses, and live together in peace. I know it won't be all sunshine and roses, because we'll both be working our own jobs and taking classes and such, but at least at the end of the day I'll be able to come home, prep the place and bedroom, give Master a massage, love on Him, be able to go to sleep wrapped up into His arms, and then wake up the next morning still next to Him....

I'm such a dramatic romantic chick.. =/

Sorry that this is so.. emotional and rather depressing to read.. that is.. if anyone is reading any of this. Don't think so though, since I only have one follower.. Haha..

And I didn't get that back rub that Master promised me today.. and my back hurts really freaking bad.. Gah just.. maybe things will be better tomorrow. I don't feel so well... =/


  1. I've been living on my own since I was 16. 3 years with my ex (Sarah) 4 years with my ex college roommate an now almost 2 years with Kara. We don't always have the money to do what we want but I enjoy the freedom. We're both in school full time and rent a Townhouse. I'm sure if you two figured things out financially you could make it work.
    As for not seeing him everyday, like I mentioned to Angel you need to find little things to do when he's not around to remind you of your submission to him. Let him do something simple like pick out your outfits for the day. Then you can write him erotic emails each day describing all the naughty thoughts you had :)
    Hope you had a nice day.

    ~Jess XXOO~

  2. That is a very good idea, Jess. Thank you. That really did help a lot. =)

  3. I'm sorry you're feeling crappy...>_<

    Believe it or not, though, my mom is a lot like Ev's--whenever I lived at home, she was constantly in my business, in our business, interrupting us over stupid things, etcetc...Once you move out, though, it really does get so much better. She still calls me, and living without her was a weird transition at first, but they generally learn to back off, and you learn to not be so dependent on them. So, I wouldn't worry about it being that way forever...

    Also, listen to Jess! She's given me lots of awesome advice in the past. The picking out outfits thing does wonders...and I'm, personally, a big fan of dirty texting...^_^

  4. Thanks, Bre. I'm feeling a lot better today. I think it was just a mixture of hormones and just wanting to see Him more that was getting to me the most last night. PMS and irritations combined with this one is not a fun mix for anyone.

    I actually called Master up last night and told Him that I thought during the days that I should do chores and stuff for Him while He is in class, and he already set me for three things I have to do today. Clean my room, keep up to date (every day) with writing journal entries, and He now wants me to write out my promise to Him as to what I will do a His slave/sub for the rest of our lives. I think... He's starting to think bigger now.. <.< *smiles softly*