Last night was the first night in weeks that Master and I were actually able to spend time alone in an empty house. Masters parents are out of town this weekend, so we have the place to ourselves. Lately we have been trying to work things out in our relationship, which also included less moments of me getting away with things when it is necessary for punishment.
I had mentioned to Master last night that we should talk about progress, and He suddenly ordered me to take off my pants. Reluctantly, I did so and stretched myself out on the bed with my bottom facing up. He rummaged around in the closet for a short while and came out with the cane. Upon seeing it, my heart sunk. I hate the cane because it is typically used for one thing, which is punishment, and it hurts really bad.
"Today while Mike was over earlier you cussed 22 times alone."
I tried protesting it, but that failed to get me anywhere, really. Instead I got swatted on my bottom several times with the cane. After the second swat, it started hurting pretty bad, but despite the pain, I kind of wanted it to hurt and I wanted Him to hit me a little harder. He stopped after several hard thwacks and said:
"Last weekend, you punched me in the stomach."
"I said I was sorry for that! It wasn't on purpose!"
"I know, and that is good, but you still need to be taught a lesson. Also, you forgot to ask permission to sit down several times today."
He began hitting my already sore bottom again. I honestly have no idea how many times He hit me with the cane last night, but I'm sure it was well over 30 times. After administering punishment, He leaned over and spoke into my ear
"Now, are you sorry for the things you've done?"
"Yes... Sir.." I managed to quietly speak out.
"I want to hear in a full sentence what you are sorry for."
It took me a second, but I finally spoke back, "I'm sorry for cussing, punching you in the stomach, and for sitting down without asking for permission...."
Silence. I knew what He was waiting to hear so I spoke again. ".. Sir."
"Good girl."
For a while I laid on the bed, bottom still exposed, and relaxed while Master ran His fingers over the welts that formed from the punishment I just endured. For some reason, when Master takes control, even if He has punished me, I get really turned on by it, and suddenly I was wanting His cock more than ever. I raised my hips off the bed, pushing myself closer to Master, in hopes He would try to take advantage of me. At first, it seemed like He was ignoring me, but finally He dipped one of His fingers into my soaking wet cunt, and I arched my back a little. He toyed with me for a little bit before we finally ended up having sex.
We took a little break to get some dinner and let our stomachs settle. Shortly after dinner we got ourselves in the shower. I always enjoy taking showers with Master, even if I don't always act like it. Even better, I love when we get to clean one another, though I think Master enjoys cleaning me off more than anything, considering every time He cleans my cunt, He always takes time to toy with my clit and such. I think He just likes playing with me, period. Another thing He really seems to love is blow jobs while in the shower as well. It was so pleasing to hear His moans, and I loved the praise I received from Him as well...
"You know you're an adorable little cock sucker, right?"
Things like that make me so happy. ^.^
After the shower, we came back to His room where we spent tangled up in one another. Master remained in control all night last night, and He even forced me to have several orgasms that made it very difficult for me to stand up. One thing is for sure, I think my clit is bruised from all the "abuse" that I was forced to endure. Hahahaha... Worth it.
Plus, Master is training me to cum when He says a certain word. This sort of thing takes time, but I think it's going pretty well. ^.^ Sure lots of things that happened last night were sexual, but throughout the day, Master has definitely been showing that He is trying really hard to maintain that balance. Even today He still seems to be in this mood, which I am perfectly fine with, I only hope that this weekend continues to go well.
Hope everyone has a fun weekend too.
~*~Anastassia~*~
Showing posts with label dominance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dominance. Show all posts
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Redefining What Being A slave Means To Me
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but lately it seems my relationship with Master has been having more downs than ups. For the last two nights we have done almost nothing but fought, and that is not normal for us. Last night, Master threatened to take my collar away again, and I was told that I am basically not being compliant. For a second there, I almost thought He was going to say I was not worthy for the collar or for Him to be my Master. I honestly thought He was going to say that by the look in His eyes. Being as angry as I was at that moment, I almost said I didn't care, but I just kept my mouth shut.
To be honest, a part of me didn't care, but I think that was just me being stubborn, because if He had taken it away, I'd probably be really upset right about now. Instead, He placed the collar around my neck and I haven't taken it off since. I really don't know what is going to happen to us, or if anything will happen at all, but apparently Master is going to go through some "changes" and said that I need to change too. I had told Him "Forgive me if I don't believe you."
One of our main problems is that He says He going to do something, and doesn't necessarily stick with it. So it is really hard for me to believe Him sometimes when He says He is going to do something differently. I guess only time will tell. Not all of this is His fault. I have some spots to blame on as well, and He is right, I have been fighting Him here and there. It's really hard for me to submit to someone who doesn't necessarily assert their dominance. I hate to say it, but sometimes I feel like I could be a better Dom than He can.
Master and I still have lots to learn when it comes to this lifestyle, and we still have lots of growing up to do. I just really hope we figure something out that actually works for us. This re-evaluating stuff is getting on my nerves. *sigh*
I'm really confused, heart broken and depressed over all of this. It just feels like every time we get something right, something else goes wrong. When is there ever going to be a happy median? At any rate, it seems I have a lot to think about, and we have lots to discuss. Master should be here any minute now, and I want to be ready to talk to Him. I'll make another post later when I find out what is going to happen to us and what-not.
~*~Anastassia~*~
To be honest, a part of me didn't care, but I think that was just me being stubborn, because if He had taken it away, I'd probably be really upset right about now. Instead, He placed the collar around my neck and I haven't taken it off since. I really don't know what is going to happen to us, or if anything will happen at all, but apparently Master is going to go through some "changes" and said that I need to change too. I had told Him "Forgive me if I don't believe you."
One of our main problems is that He says He going to do something, and doesn't necessarily stick with it. So it is really hard for me to believe Him sometimes when He says He is going to do something differently. I guess only time will tell. Not all of this is His fault. I have some spots to blame on as well, and He is right, I have been fighting Him here and there. It's really hard for me to submit to someone who doesn't necessarily assert their dominance. I hate to say it, but sometimes I feel like I could be a better Dom than He can.
Master and I still have lots to learn when it comes to this lifestyle, and we still have lots of growing up to do. I just really hope we figure something out that actually works for us. This re-evaluating stuff is getting on my nerves. *sigh*
I'm really confused, heart broken and depressed over all of this. It just feels like every time we get something right, something else goes wrong. When is there ever going to be a happy median? At any rate, it seems I have a lot to think about, and we have lots to discuss. Master should be here any minute now, and I want to be ready to talk to Him. I'll make another post later when I find out what is going to happen to us and what-not.
~*~Anastassia~*~
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Fondest Memory of Submission
Master has requested of me, today, that I write of my "fondest memory of my submission and servitude" to Him. This is, without a doubt, going to be a tough one considering I have lots of fond memories of our relationship thus far. The key thing, though, is that He wants me to write about when I've felt "most submissive" to Him. Considering I feel really submissive most of the time towards Him, this may be a little on complicated side. But hey, I enjoy complication to an extent, and I certainly love a challenge, so here we go.
I think the incident that sticks out the most to me, was shortly after we decided to re-evaluate our M/s lifestyle and relationship. We had been through some tough times, and to be honest, things were not looking so hot between us. I was being snarkier than ever, saying awful things to Him, and most of all, I was being highly disobedient. I certainly was not acting the way a slave should to present their Master well. (Not saying there is a right and wrong way, but I was acting "wrong" for ME and by MY usual standards).
To put it simple, Master ended up putting me in my place, and it was definitely for the better. He was hard on me, and it was the first time I've ever seen Him act like that. He locked me in the bathroom, cold, naked and blindfolded, and I was basically sentenced to silence until He saw it fit. He put me through tests, and He actually got into my head and it was a bit on the scary side.
It was respectable, though.
That day, I felt completely and utterly in the palm of His hands. Before too long, He had gained back all control of me, and I felt something stir deep within me that can very much resemble passion, commitment, and a new found respect for Him. By the end of that evening, I had somehow learned my lesson, and I had realized that what I had done was wrong, and I needed to change myself for both of us. I learned that there was (and always is) still room to grow, and I had LOTS of growing up to do.
Ever since then, I have learned to hold my tongue a lot better, think before I speak, and I have learned to keep Him in my regards no matter what I do or say. As His slave, and companion, not only do I need to serve Him well, but I need to present myself in ways that would best represent Him as the wonderful person He is.
I cried back then, but now that things have changed, and we've grown a bit more, I am very happy that we went through that because it has helped us a lot. There is nothing else in this world that has made me respect Him as much, and admire Him as much as that day, and I thank Him for that.
~*~Anastassia~*~
I think the incident that sticks out the most to me, was shortly after we decided to re-evaluate our M/s lifestyle and relationship. We had been through some tough times, and to be honest, things were not looking so hot between us. I was being snarkier than ever, saying awful things to Him, and most of all, I was being highly disobedient. I certainly was not acting the way a slave should to present their Master well. (Not saying there is a right and wrong way, but I was acting "wrong" for ME and by MY usual standards).
To put it simple, Master ended up putting me in my place, and it was definitely for the better. He was hard on me, and it was the first time I've ever seen Him act like that. He locked me in the bathroom, cold, naked and blindfolded, and I was basically sentenced to silence until He saw it fit. He put me through tests, and He actually got into my head and it was a bit on the scary side.
It was respectable, though.
That day, I felt completely and utterly in the palm of His hands. Before too long, He had gained back all control of me, and I felt something stir deep within me that can very much resemble passion, commitment, and a new found respect for Him. By the end of that evening, I had somehow learned my lesson, and I had realized that what I had done was wrong, and I needed to change myself for both of us. I learned that there was (and always is) still room to grow, and I had LOTS of growing up to do.
Ever since then, I have learned to hold my tongue a lot better, think before I speak, and I have learned to keep Him in my regards no matter what I do or say. As His slave, and companion, not only do I need to serve Him well, but I need to present myself in ways that would best represent Him as the wonderful person He is.
I cried back then, but now that things have changed, and we've grown a bit more, I am very happy that we went through that because it has helped us a lot. There is nothing else in this world that has made me respect Him as much, and admire Him as much as that day, and I thank Him for that.
~*~Anastassia~*~
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