A Little Something To Keep My Hands Busy

What you are about to read is fictional and a fantasy. This has not happened... at least not yet. ;D


Enjoy!




Summer. My favorite season of the year. Not much had been going on lately, other than Master had been working hard every single day in His office, and I had been at home taking care of our lovely house. Day in and day out I made sure to keep everything clean and tidy, including our basement, which recently became our private dungeon. Today was no different.


I had woke up early this morning, as I typically did, around the time of six in the morning. I quietly slid out of bed, making sure not to disturb Masters' slumber, and headed down stairs where I began to prepare our first meal of the day. The meal I was preparing consisted of hot cinnamon rolls, maple sausage, home made pancakes, scrambled eggs, and some maple syrup to top off those pancakes. Just how Master likes it.


After I got everything prepared, most of the food cooked, and the oven hot and ready, I placed the raw cinnamon rolls into the oven, then went back up stairs to start the process of waking Him up. This is never an easy task, as sometimes Master gets in late from work, and barely gets His sleep, but I knew just the right way to get him to rise and shine.


Carefully, I creep'd into our larger than life sized bedroom, and smiled at the sleeping man that was in the bed. I slowly slid back onto the bed, and under the covers, where I gently worked my way close to His body. Even though it was dark under the blankets, I quickly found what I was looking for, and put His warm cock into my mouth. At first, I sucked tenderly, and gently, urging Him to come to attention. Once I succeeded, I began to work my mouth as passionately as I could. Suddenly, I heard groans of Master waking. His sounds were muffled by the blanket over my head, but the heat surrounding me suddenly lifted as He flipped the blanket off us to inspect what was going on below.


With as much of a smile as I could give while sucking on his now fully erect cock, my lips spread into a grin. After taking His cock out of my mouth, and gave Him a better smile,


"Good morning, Master. Breakfast is almost ready."


He smiled down at me,


"Good morning, slave. I'm not quite ready for breakfast yet, I'm a little...." He paused and grinned "preoccupied at the moment. What say you finish me off, and then we go get breakfast?"


Without hesitating, I went right back to working His cock in my mouth. Sucking and slurping, all the while bringing Him closer to His climax. It wasn't before too long that I had Him right on the edge. He gripped the hair on the back of my head tight and forced His cock deep into my throat, spilling His hot seed into my throat and mouth. I tried swallowing as much of it as I could, but some of it oozed back out onto his crotch. 


From the kitchen, I heard the timer going off, meaning that the cinnamon rolls were done, and breakfast was fully ready. "Master! My rolls! They'll burn if I don't get them!" I said in a bit of a panicked state.


He replied smugly, "You're lucky you have to go get them out, other wise you'd be cleaning up the mess you made up here." A kiss followed and I was dismissed to my other duties.


I quickly went downstairs and got the rolls out of the oven. They smelt so good and fresh, but what was best was seeing the icing melt on them as I poured it over the rolls. About 5-10 minutes had passed before Master had shown up downstairs, dressed in His dark blue bath robe.


"Breakfast smells wonderful, Anastassia."


"Thank you, Sir. I made your favorite!" I pointed out the cinnamon roles, and He just smiled at me.


After making us both our plates, and sitting down at the dining room table, we began our morning feast. There was a certain look about Master this morning. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but He seemed like something was either on His mind or else maybe He was still really tired. I shrugged it off though, and went on my way.


After breakfast, Master and I both went upstairs to the bathroom where we took our morning shower together. I lathered up some soap on a sponge and began washing His body, covering every bit of that beautiful canvas He has, otherwise known as His skin. I made sure to pay close attention to his cock, gently lathering up soap around it, and cleaning it with acute precision.


Next, I lathered shampoo into His hair, and made sure to massage His scalp, cleaning it just as well as the rest of His body. After about a minute of that, I gently edged him under the shower head, where the warm water rinsed him of all the suds. As I watched the soap get washed away, I noticed that Master was regaining another erection. I only grinned and began washing myself, and tending to my personal hygiene routine.


Once our shower was over, we headed back to the bedroom where I dried Master off, and got Him dressed into another one of His fancy suits. I knew that Master had a big presentation today at the office, and I was going to make sure He looked amazing. I picked out a black suit and a white shirt. To accompany this, I picked him out a crimson red tie, my favorite, and tied it around the shirt cuff that was around His neck.


Finally, after getting Him all tidied up, and clean, I slicked Masters' hair back with some light gel, and evened out His hair.


I beamed with a smile up at Him, "You look so handsome, Master! You're going to do just amazing today."


He leaned in for a deep kiss, and held me close, "Thanks to you, my sweet slave. All thanks to you. Now, I must be off. I need to prepare at the office, and wish to be there early. Be sure to take care of the house, as you do so well." He kissed me on the forehead and headed down stairs to grab Himself a cinnamon roll to go. 


As He was leaving, we exchanged another passionate kiss, and then He was out the door.


I spent the rest of my morning taking care of the house, washing the dishes, and making sure the laundry was done. Around 2pm I received a call from Master, asking me to come out to His work. On the way there, I stopped by the grocery store and got myself a salad, and picked up just enough items to make Him a sandwich. 


Upon arriving at His office, I noticed He had a somewhat perplexed look on His face. "Good afternoon. How did the presentation go, Sir?" I asked as I closed the door shut. 


"Well..." He began, "It was interesting.. to say the least...." He stopped and watched me as I prepared His sandwich while He was talking. 


"Yes, Master?" 


"It's nothing. You just look so wonderful doing what you do best."


I raised an eyebrow, "Oh? And what's that?"


"Serving me, silly." He smiled. "As for the presentation.... It went well! We're going to go through with my plan." A devilish grin then spread across His lips. "I think it's time for a celebration."


I cocked my head to the side, "Want me to make you an elaborate dinner with friends over, Sir? I could make a few calls!"


"No, no, no. My dear little slut, we are to celebrate right now. Though I do like that idea... Come over here, slave, and get under the desk." 


I followed suit and did as He told me, figuring that I knew what was to happen next, and of course, I was right. After getting myself on my knees under His desk, He unzipped His pants, brought out His half erect cock, and sat down in His big comfy chair. He then positioned Himself just the way He wanted and looked down at me, as if to say "Alright, what are you waiting for? Get to sucking."


I nodded my head and kept my eyes locked onto His as I took His cock into my watering mouth. I loved doing this, and there was always the chance of getting caught, though no one ever came in. As I started really working my tongue around His fully hardened cock, suddenly there came a knock at His door. 


Panic struck through my heart, and I began breathing faster. I know the look of fear and desperation was in my eyes, as Master grinned evilly back at me. 


"Come in!" 


I quickly got a small scream stifled by Him the moment He shoved His cock deep into my throat. Trying not to gag on Him, I kept very still while I listened to the other man walk into the room. His foot steps stopped right at the desk, and if this desk were made to where you could see right underneath it, he would have seen me on my knees as soon as he opened the door. Even more so, he would have seen my skirt smug against my round bottom, slowly working its way up my thighs. Thankfully, this was not the case, but knowing he was right there was nerve wrecking just enough. 


Master placed His hand gently on my head while He talked the man who entered the room.


"Congratulations on your presentation today, sir!"


What started as a quick congratulatory greeting, suddenly felt like it took forever. What made it worse is that every time I tried taking Him out of my mouth, He would push Himself even further down my throat, making it harder for me to breathe and keep myself quiet.


After several minutes of this guy talking, he finally left the room and shut the door behind him. I withdrew Master from my mouth. "My god I thought he was never going to leave!"


"Don't worry, my sweet girl, no one will be bothering us for a while." He got up, walked over to the door, and locked it before giving me His hand and rising me to my feet. He pulled me close to Him and raised my skirt up, sitting me down on His desk


I protested, "No, not here~!"


"You deny me of what I want and deserve, slave?" He said, staring into my soul with that burning look of domination.


"No, Sir, I just-"


"You what, slut?!"


"Nothing, Master." I shrunk under Him as He pulled my skirt up over my thighs and hips, exposing my glistening wet cunt.


"My, my... what do we have here? You say no, but your body seems to be saying yes, my dear."


He placed the head of His cock against my opening, and slowly pushed Himself in. He began working His hips back and forth into me, all the while holding my wrists down on the desk so I couldn't move from His grip. With each thrust, He went a little harder and faster. Eventually He picked up a rhythm with me, and the desk began shaking a little with each deep pounding thrust. 


Our breathing became heavy, and our bodies took over in their own form of autopilot. Before too long, I was working my hips as well, begging Him with my body to push me to my limit with Him. The only way to stifle our moans was to kiss one another, but even that didn't help. I remember tightening my legs around his waist, pulling Him deeper into me. 


With one final deep push, Master was pouring His hot thick cum into my cunt, filling me up with His seed. I couldn't resist letting out a deep moan, which resulted in Master covering my mouth with His hand and grinning at me.


"You're so wonderful, Anastassia. Thank you for this. Now get yourself together and head on home. I'll see you in a few hours. Also, do call up our friends. I liked that idea about the dinner, and I'd liked to have it arranged."


"Yes, Master. I love you, Sir." I replied graciously


"I love you too. Take care and be careful."


I took my leave, and noticed I was getting a lot of stares. Probably because my face was so flushed, but then I started wondering if maybe they had heard my moans of pleasure while engaged with my husband. I decided to shrug it off and tend to my new set of duties.


The rest of the day went well, and the dinner went amazing. We both had a successful and wonderful day, so that night we shared our bodies with one another again and fell asleep in a cloud of bliss. 


About a month later, I made my way to the store where I bought a few items. I started feeling sick every morning, so I thought it was time for a change in my diet. I also bought some other things that might help me figure out what was wrong. 


What happened the next morning sent us both into a state of shock.


"Master!!! Master! Come here!"


He jolted awake and rushed to the bathroom. "What's wrong, Anastassia?!" 


I looked at Him with a face full of mixed emotions. "Uhm.. Sir..."


"Honey... what's that in your hand?"


I smiled slightly out of excitement and fear.


"We're pregnant... Sir..."


Le Fin!


I may actually develop a story out of this! I took long enough to write it.. might as well. XD


Hope those of you who read it enjoyed it. Sorry it was so lengthy.

Autumn and Everything That Comes With It

Well the chilling fall weather has officially set in for the year, and it looks like things are about to start getting really cold as it comes with this time of the year. Typically, I'm more of a spring and summer type person, but autumn has its very own charm that comes along with it, and there are some awesome treats that are made only at this time of the year. Treats such as cranapple granola hot and fresh out of the oven, pumpkin spiced muffins that are sweet and have a distinct taste, and my favorite of all, hot apple cider. Sure, it's more of a drink than anything, but to me it's a fantastic fall treat and I'm always so excited for it every single year.


One thing that almost always seems to follow the fall season, other than the cold crappy weather, is the typical common colds and flu as well as other illnesses. Guess who's already fighting a cold that feels more like a sinus cold than anything? That's right. Me. This bites. Haha


On Friday it started off as a slight sore throat. Eventually as the day went on, I started noticing that my throat had become swollen, and it was harder for me to breathe. Saturday I was about the same. Sunday, I was better, and now today  I'm all congested, light headed, can barely breathe, and starting to feel achy. Now while my throat no longer hurts, it's became on the itchy side. 


Oh well, I got to sip on some delicious hot apple cider a little bit ago, and enjoy some mini pumpkin spiced muffins. Great stuff right there. Time to make myself cozy and snuggle up to Master, and enjoy more hot apple cider. ^.^


~*~Anastassia~*~

First Play Party Was A HUGE Success!!!!

Last night was the TAPE Halloween play party, and I had been anticipating this for a couple of months now. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect, so I was kind of going in there a bit on the blind side. Master and I got there around 7p.m. last night, and started talking to the other people there, who turned out to be really funny and nice people. It was definitely awesome meeting others in the lifestyle, and getting to know that some of the people I talked to, had a lot of things in common with me, both vanilla and kinky! It was also really nice seeing some familiar faces, like Certari, Red, Silver, PolyBrat, and GlassSpider. 


After we had our feast of some of the most delicious food I've had in a while, we got to socialize quite a bit more before the real fun started. I noticed that Red was there, and I hadn't had the chance to say "hi" to him at that point, so I pretty much edged my way over to him, greeted him with a hug and started a conversation with him about the rope that he makes (which I got to find out how sturdy that rope was too! More on that later, though). Eventually, Red ended up showing me his violet want, and the collection of bulbs and conductors he had with him. This is what set me off into a spree of kink for the rest of the night.


At one point, he draped a sequin cloth over my shoulders and loosely wrapped it around my body. With Master watching, Red showed us how it could conduct electricity and there were little streaks of lightning going around the area he touched with the violet wand. Talk about freaking awesome. What was even cooler, Red had also made some rope that had these gold metallic strips weaved right into the rope, and it too conducted electricity! 


Not wanting to miss out on that, I got bound to the St. Andrew's Cross they had there by that same type of rope. Master got to take a turn with the violent wand and the amount of electricity that surged all around my body felt freaking amazing. They also used a wartenburg wheel attachment on the violet wand, and I still have those pretty little teeth marks on my body from it. ^.^ It was definitely a cool experience.


After all the electricity play and what-not, I ended up taking a small break to get some water in my system, and even a nice little brownie to help with my endorphin rush. After taking a little breather, I got to talk to GlassSpider, and she ended up showing my these little needle things she slipped over her fingers, and it just felt so neat! Depending on the type of pressure she put into my skin, it could feel ticklish, or it could feel like you were getting lightly scratched. It was pretty nifty. She also had this really big heavy duty flogger that I absolutely could not resist trying out! 


First she started out light and slow, but gradually went harder and faster till I could actually feel it stinging at times. I think I took it fairly hard before I finally have to give in and stop, but it was definitely a lot of fun, and she said my back pinked up really well. ^.^ It was such a pleasure letting her do that to me, and Master seemed to enjoy watching my reactions. We said our thank you's and I ended up giving her a hug. I come, come on! She deserved some love after that!


Again, I rested up a bit, and ended up doing something I never thought I was going to be able to do....


Get suspended!


Both Red and Silver worked on me to get me suspended about as comfortable as one could be while suspended 2 feet of the ground. To be honest, I was a bit scared. This was my first time ever being suspended by rope, but once again, I just could not resist. Heck, they knew what they were doing, and these were people I've met before and trusted. So after a grueling amount of time getting the rope on me just right, eventually they slowly started hoisting me up off the ground, and before too long, I was hanging in this Swiss Swing harness that Silver made, and I was fully suspended off the ground. 


Did I mention I actually got naked for this? Oh yeah... definitely got naked. X3


It was a little uncomfortable, but it was so much fun hanging there in the air, and it just felt amazing. It didn't really hurt that much, and thanks to Silver, he put this scarf around my head and neck so that I would have support there too. If it weren't for the fact I was so tired, I would have hung there for longer than I did, but it was after 12am at this point (time FLIES) and Master and I were getting tired and worn out. 


After they helped me out of the rigging, and got my clothes back on, I made my rounds giving everyone hugs and saying my "thank you's" and letting everyone know I was happy I got to meet and talk with them, Master and I headed home for the night. 


I slept like a freaking baby, and I'm still feeling that little after party high that one gets from all those endorphin rushes for an extended amount of time. Last night was amazing, and I really hope I get to go to more play parties like this. It was definitely worth it, and I would do it over and over again.


If there was anyone I left out in this, I'm very sorry, but know that I love all of you wonderful people,a nd just thank you again, so much, for the wonderful night you gave me!


Sincerely,


A Very Happy Slave


~*~Anastassia~*~

Getting Rid of You Once and For All....

Yesterday was quite the wake-up call for me....


It seems like ever since I became a teenager, my dad has slowly, but surely started pushing me away with his actions, and most of all, with his words. Throughout the years I have been screamed at more and more by my father, than I have anyone else in my life. Most of the time, it's over the stupidest of things. 


It first started out with the clumsy 12 year old me, who used to accidentally drop cups and spill water all over the place. Or the occasional time when I spilled my food all over the floor... But that was small stuff. Sure, as I got older, I've learned to be more careful of my physical actions, so dropping things happens far less than it did back then. Granted, the biggest reason I don't drop things now, is because of my fear that someone will come at me and scream in my ear. Scream those horrible screams, telling me I'm a clumsy fool, that I need to "get my head out of my ass" and start paying attention. 


Various other insults comes with that too...


As I grew older, the insults and screaming only got worse. Suddenly, I was being told that I was acting "just like my mother" who is possibly one of the most sick and insane people I know, and is probably the most evil person I know of too. He uses this as a way to get at me, because he knows that I try my hardest to be nothing like her. He uses his insults to best kick my psychological butt, and the sad part it always works. 


Last year he left me standing in the cold rain of November by the Kroger after 11 o'clock at night. By the time I made it to my friends apartment, my feet were frozen and sopping wet, and my clothes were wet as well. I ended up staying with my friends that night, and getting little to no sleep. There is a lot more to that story, but basically, if he were to tell the story, it would be all my fault. 


It's always my fault. For some reason, the parent is "always right" and the child never gets it right. They don't have enough experience, or maturity to get it right. 


That is what I'm always told.


Yesterday... yesterday pretty much broke me on the inside. Once again, it was over the stupidest thing in the fucking world.


Basically, in a nut shell, my dad had asked if I wanted anything to eat, when I replied with the answer "sure" (as in yes, I'd like to have something to eat) I got told with an agitated tone from my dad that "Sure is not an option on the menu." My first reply back to that was "Okay, I said 'sure' as in 'yes, I'd like some food, please.' You don't have to get on my case about it." My tone was not one of a smart ass, but a simple tone of confusion, really. 


After placing the order, he started screaming in my ear, how he was aggravated, and that he's had a bad day. Honestly, I didn't care, and I told him that. I also told him that it was not an excuse to jump down my throat, which then resulted in him getting a couple inches away from my face and screaming into my ear that I "better start caring" because he was "on steroids" and at that point, I didn't even let him finish. I decided enough was enough, and I told him that I was getting out of the car and leaving for Evan's work, where I know I wont get yelled at for something stupid. 


He told me I'd better think twice, because if I left, I was on my own, at which point, I didn't care. I told him that I didn't deserve the way he was treating me, and that he should be ashamed of himself. 


The look on his face, was honestly priceless. Not in a funny way, though... He suddenly had this look of angered confusion like "What the hell is wrong with you" or "what did I do?" 


Still didn't give a care. I slammed the truck doors closed and walked away. Honestly, I hope he was embarrassed. He deserves it, for all the embarrassment hes caused me. 


It was after this that I realized my dad didn't care anything about me. He hasn't cared about me for years now. i'm nothing but a burden to him.. What's even worse, is that I know for a fact that if that had been one of his friends who replied with "sure" (the one word that started it all) he would have just been like "Okay, what do you want?" and left it at that. He has no love nor respect for me, and he cares more about his friends than he does his own daughter. 


This is something that I've known for a couple of years anyways. Been saying it for a while, because it's nothing short of the truth. 


Last year he told me after we had a huge fight that ended very similar to this, that he loved me, and didn't want to lose me, but if that were so true, why doesn't he think about his actions before he speaks, like he tells me so oftenly to do myself? 


Well, guess what dad, get ready for a huge wake up call, because you've finally done it. After all the years of torture, and all the times you've tormented me with your words of violence, anger, and hatred, you've finally successfully done it. You've pushed me to the point, I pray to god I have to see you as little as possible. You've pushed me to the edge or no return. I have tried to hard to love you... to treat you like the best father in the world, to actually cater to you in your times of need, to make you warm food when you were sick, even if you never asked. I've bent over backwards to help you with crap around the house, and I've even ended up hurting myself in the process, but I've stuck it out till the job was done to tend to the wounds I developed during those jobs. 


I have actually shed blood, sweat, and tears for you all 20 years of my life, and this is how you repay me? I don't want it. 


Just like my mother you are dead to me. I don't deserve the bullshit you put me through, I don't deserve the way you scream in my ear, the way you take all of your anger out on me because I'm nothing but a constant reminder of your psychotic wife all because I look like her. I will no longer tolerate the verbal abuse you send my way almost day in and day out. 


Father, you are a dead man to me, as a horrible monster of a person that you are should be. I deserve so much better, and you are definitely not for the better in my life.


I hope you're proud of yourself, and I hope you're happy to know that the only child you have ever had, can't stand to be around you either. So congrats. You win. I'll no longer bother you any more. I'll no longer remind you of the woman you married and conceived a child with, because from now on, you've never had a child, and I no longer have a father.


Fare thee well....


~*~Anastassia~*~


This deserves a "quote of the day" and this is something I said this morning....


"Verbal abuse is still abuse. I don't care how you try to cover it up. Sometimes words and screaming can hurt just as bad as a deep cut on the shoulder." 

Body - 1; My Will Power - 0

Some of you may know that I have a somewhat bad case of IBS, and to top it off I'm lactose intolerant. In other words if I don't watch very carefully to what I do and don't eat, I may be having some involuntary bowel issues in my near future. 


This morning, however, I haven't been able to eat a thing, but I fear there was something in the food I ate last night for dinner that is getting to me this morning. So because I'm going through a really bad case because of my IBS, I have to miss classes today, which also include missing out on two tests. So that's freaking awesome. At this point, I just don't want to eat anything, despite the fact that my stomach is really hungry. I'm so sick of dealing with this, and I'm sick of worrying about this every single freaking minute of every single day. 


So guess what, body, you win. Can I please get a rest from this?!


Ugh...


~*~Anastassia~*~

I REALLY Hate This Dog...

Alright... I have held this in for long enough, and I've come to the point where I really just need to get this off my chest.


Masters' mom has this dog, Cairn Terrier, that goes by the name of Moose. For the most part, he is an okay dog, and I really stress the word "okay", because most of the time he is an annoying little monster. (Really trying not to cuss. Been working on that very hard as of late). Yes, this animal is nothing short of a flipping monster, at least in my opinion.


Before I get into everything I will admit that Moose has a slight excuse to act the way he does. He was a foster dog, and to our knowledge he was abused at one point. So when it comes to having your feet close to him, well.. pray to god you are wearing shoes.... Lets just put it at that.


He makes me a nervous wreck. This dog has been living in this house for about 2 years now, and while he is a little bit better, there is still a LOT of room for improvement. When he first came into the house, he bullied their Schnauzer, Baxter, and eventually he died from what we can only think may be stress. (If you don't think stress can kill an animal or person, think again). Moose also bullied around their other Carin Terrier, Kerry. Luckily Kerry is not the nervous wreck that Baxter was, and can stick up for himself fairly well. That's not to say that Moose does not still try to rule the roost.


During the course in which Moose has lived here, he has bit my Master three times, Masters' mom about four times, tried biting me five times (fifth time being tonight), and has bit one of our friends once, and tried biting another friend once. The first few times this happened it was because someone just got close to the dog with their foot. They didn't necessarily touch him. He just snapped and bit at them. Master has the scar on His foot to prove it. There have been times where someone accidentally did bump their foot into him, and he's definitely latched on those times too.


What pisses me off so much about this whole situation, is that Master's parents were warned that he is a biter, and they still took him in. Granted, this is their house, so I don't say anything about it, out of respect for them, and because I know it is not my place.


The first time he tried biting me, I was actually just petting him. I was on the ground, sitting actually, loving on him, when suddenly, with no warning, not a growl, nothing, he starts barking and snapping at my face trying his hardest to bite me. I quickly reacted by backing away, and in the process, my knee accidentally met his lower jaw and clopped his jaws together.


Not going to lie, I didn't feel bad. I didn't feel good about it either. It was completely unintentional, but honestly, I felt he deserved it. That was at the beginning of this year. Each time he lashes out and starts growling like he's some sort of caged monster/animal hybrid (when he certainly is not caged) it just infuriates me. I'm so sick of having to watch my step when I'm in this house, and in the beginning, I never had to. I'm so sick of being afraid that if I step the wrong way, or too close to this beast, that I'm going to get a pair of jaws latched on to me. This dog has drawn blood every single time he has bit someone, except one of the times he bit Masters' mom, and that was because she had shoes on.


What pisses me off the most though, is how EXTREMELY tolerant this woman is of this dog. She has it in her that she can change him. This dog is very old, about 14 I believe. There is no freaking way his habits are going to change. She even has him on a form of Prozac, and that has not done much of anything.


I'm not the only one that is not in love with this dog either. Master sure as heck is not a huge fan of him, and His dad... Well.. lets just say his dad and Moose have clashed several times, and one time was really bad in particular. Not getting into that though. Everyone in this house is trying really hard to give this dog chance after chance, and where some of us are more tolerant than others, where I was very tolerant at first, I'm starting to lose my temper. There is nothing more that angers me when some animal comes around and thinks he can bark and growl at me, especially when I haven't done a single thing to him. 


I have never kicked this dog, I've never hit him, and aside from accidentally getting his jaw with my knee, I have not done anything to harm this dog. His aggression towards me is fucking ridiculous, and I've had just about enough of it.


It's gotten so bad that I don't want to be in this house hardly at all anymore. Even worse, he pisses me off so much that I've had thoughts of throwing stuff at him (harmless stuff like pillows, that is) in hopes of scaring him away from me. I once had a thought of choking the dog cause of the way he acts, and it makes me feel horrible. I have NEVER felt this way about ANY animal in my life. 


There is something off about this dog, and I straight up don't like it. The level of anger I have towards this dog is very unhealthy, and it upsets me because I have never in my life reacted this way towards any animal that has came into my life....


This feeling I get when I'm around him is very unhealthy, and it messes with my head... I have never felt more like an awful person in my life until Moose showed up....


I'm just... so sick of this...


Dinner is ready, I'm going to go eat, and calm down... This...


I just need to stay away from this house till Moose either changes, or passes.... I can't keep living with these feelings. It's just not fair to me or the dog, and the stress I obtain from this is not fair either. I don't need it, the dog doesn't need it, and Master certainly doesn't need me this way either.


~*~Anastassia~*~

An All Around Shitty Day

I woke up five minutes before my alarm clock this morning, and decided to go ahead and get my morning shower in before I headed off to classes. I could tell from the moment I got up that I had not slept well last night, despite actually sleeping through the night. I shrugged it off though and headed into the shower, where I felt I could pass out in there as well. I ended up being late for my first class, only by a few minutes though, because I was late eating breakfast. My hair didn't want to cooperate with me....


All day today, I've felt extremely sluggish. In hopes I would be awake by the time I'd be going to Angel's house this afternoon, though, I tried keeping my spirits up. Other than being late, things were going just fine. I got two tests back today that were both marked with 100% so that definitely kept me happy. 


During my medical ethics class, though, I received a text from Angel, telling me that we weren't going to be hanging out today. Thankfully, it wasn't because she was sick this time, but it did suck to know that her toilet was messed up, yet again, and that she was going to be at her mom's. 


This didn't necessarily dampen my day, but I was a little bummed out. Trying to get my mind off it though, I ended up bringing out my kindle and reading one of the books I had on it. I was doing fairly well till I received  another text from Master. 


Long story short, if I were to go to work with Him, I was going to be away from Him, so I decided not to go. On my way out of the school, I saw two of my friends walking by. One waved back at me, and the other one seemingly ignored me. At this point, I don't know why, but I just got really frustrated. After getting in the car with Master, I started crying, but this lead my frustration further as He wasn't even trying to comfort me, even after I told Him everything that happened today. 


I ended up just telling Him not to talk to me, and in the process of Him picking me up, getting me some food, taking me to my house to get my house keys, and bringing my back here to His place, I almost made Him late for work. 


Needless to say, I'm just not feeling myself. The bottoms of my pant legs are soaking wet from where I stepped in a puddle, my feet are freezing cause I was wearing flip flops, not knowing today was going to stay cold and rainy. I have a headache. I'm here at Master's house all alone and weird noises are happening and the dogs are gone.


I just hate today. I only hope when Master gets home that we can cuddle and we can watch the new episode of American Horror Story tonight and be okay.


This sucks....


~*~Anastassia~*~