Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Annoyance of Repetition

Okay.. This is going to end up as a rant, so just warning you BEFORE you continue to read this. Just a forewarning. Alright. Lets start this.

I... HATE repetition with a PASSION. It is something that annoys me more than most things in this world, and when it happens I tend to lose my nerve a bit. I guess I'll get right to the point though, and I have a feeling I'm either going to get some hate on this, or maybe even told that I am ungrateful, but before you start going on about that, PLEASE take everything I say into consideration and hear me out. READ IT ALL before you jump to conclusions.

Moving forward.

Master has this knack for saying "I love you" REPEATEDLY throughout the day, and it's not just five or six times, it's at least in the TEENS. He says it first thing in the morning (Which makes me VERY happy). He says it every time He calls me (which is quite often, and nice. I like hearing that my Master loves me). He says it every time He see's me ( That's nice too, love hearing it in person). He tells me He loves me before we go to bed at night too. (Love that part the most). He says it (and this is the kicker and I'll explain why) every time we get silent. As if it is supposed to be some sort of silent ice breaker. *takes a deep breath*

Now, before I start into the full on rant, I wish to point out a few things. Note how I mentioned above that I love when He tells me He loves me in the mornings, when He calls me, when He see's me, and when we both are getting off the phone at night and saying goodnight to one another. I REALLY do appreciate being told I am loved, but I am a FIRM believer in "If you say something TOO MUCH, it loses its meaning". That all out of the way, I can get on with this.

I can not STAND HOW MUCH HE FUCKING SAYS IT! I kid you not, every time we are on the phone (which is quite often throughout the day. We have at least 4 different phone conversations on days I don't work) I hear the words "I love you" come out of His mouth AT LEAST FIVE TIMES before ONE phone conversation is over. And that is JUST the beginning. In person, I hear it more times than I can count on 3 pairs of hands. When He first see's me. When we get in the car. When one of us get's out of the car when we make a stop. When the other gets back IN the car. When we finally arrive to our destination + a kiss at some of these points. SOMETIMES when we get inside where we were going. A few times while we are there (at a minimum). When I get silent. (DEAR GOD AND THIS IS TOO OFTEN!) Sometimes, I want a little bit of freaking SILENCE! I NEED SILENCE! (I'm sorry if this is really bad... I just.. need to let this out because really, as MANY times as I tell Him that it really does bother me, HE STILL FUCKING DOES IT~!!!!) *flails in frustration*.

And honestly, I could list off a dozen other scenarios, but really, I think you guys get the point. IT IS PISS ASS ANNOYING!

There is NOTHING wrong with Him telling me He loves me, but when He says it as much as what He does, I really do feel I am losing it. And if I don't say it back almost immediately, he does the OTHER thing that pisses me off even more and goes "What's wrong?" Get's a TINY pouty. *Takes another deep breath* >.<;; This.. is where I am starting to get agitated. I will always tell Him "Look, it's nothing." Because usually, it really is nothing, other than the fact I get so sick of saying "I love you" OVER AND OVER and honestly, I need a damn break. 

Granted, I've TALKED to Him about this, and He says "I understand." or "Okay, I'm sorry, I'll try to work on that a bit." AND NOTHING IS SOLVED! And then, when I FINALLY get pushed so far with this that I actually get a little snappy, He get's snappy right back and it turns into Him going "FINE! Fine." And follows with some other things and it's just so fucking frustrating. I literally looked over at Him one time and said; "Look, honey. I love you too, I REALLY do, but for god's sake, we do not have to say it a hundred times in one day. It is tiring, it is said way too much for my liking, and I really do feel like the more you say it constantly, the more it loses its meaning." And I really do feel that way. 

Guys... There comes a point ALMOST every day where it has been said SO many times, that I when He says it, I feel like I am OBLIGATED to say it back or else I'll upset Him. Why? Because honestly, it's the god forsaken truth. If I even ONCE dare not say it back, He will start asking me "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?" And it just.. PISSES ME OFF! Is it bad that the constant repetition of those two things from day to day really irk my nerves? Is it bad that I honestly do get this pissed off over something so simple as my loved one saying "I love you" too much? 

Am I a mean or bad person for this? I just.. I don't even get it sometimes. Please, understand that I do love my Master, and I do appreciate that He takes time out of each day to tell me that He loves me, I just wish He wouldn't say it under every freaking circumstance. Am I the only one who thinks that as many times as He says it is just a little too much? (And I REALLY hate to say it, but none of this is an exaggeration. This is seriously how it goes EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.) Just.. I need some advice and some helpful words, because flat out telling Him how I feel about it, gets me nowhere. I've done it at least four times and it continues. Just.. please... Help? *sigh* >.<;

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