Monday, August 29, 2011


For those who know me rather well, they know that I am a somewhat sexual person, but to be honest, I'm a VERY sexual person. It may come as a slight shock, but I've been sexual since around the age of six. I discovered masturbation at a pretty young age, at least I think 6 years old is pretty damn young to figure that out, and I've known about sex and how it works since about age 9. 

Now, knowledge is one thing, and that is dandy, but I remember having sexual fantasies ever since I was rather young, and while I'm not proud of it, it is who I am and I'm not going to hide it. I think part of it was because of my up bringing. My father was very open about sex since I can first remember, and it was something he never did hide from me. Now don't get any idea's. He wouldn't partake any sexual activities in front of me, nor would he ever do anything to me, but he was verbal about it, so me "learning" things wasn't that hard. He was never really descriptive, but even at the age of 8, I knew when he was making a joke of the sexual nature, after all, I've never been an ignorant person, and there are certain things that I just knew about. 

At any rate, I've really been thinking a lot about myself lately, and I've realized that I am a far more sexual person than I give myself credit for. I think about sex, and having sex with Master almost on a daily basis and I pretty much throw myself at Him all the time. I'm always trying to pleasure Him sexually in some form or fashion, and not a single week goes by that I don't engage in a sexual activity with Him. That is not to say that I depend on sex, because I don't. I've gone without sex and without any sexual contact for months after I lost my virginity. 

This is just the type of person I am. I am very sexual, I'm sensual, I know that I'm good at what I do, and what fun would I be if I didn't flaunt it for Master a little bit? Haha...

I remember back in middle school, I used to masturbate an awful lot. About once, maybe twice, a week. Some weeks, depending on my "sexual frustration levels" I'd masturbate a few times a day, a couple days out of the week. I wasn't chronic with masturbation though, but I did enjoy it. 

Kind of odd for a virgin... After all, I was a virgin till I was 15 years old, so... yeah. I thought it was strange for a virgin like me to have such a high sex drive, but then again hormones ran high, my body was changing, and I had been dealing with energy work, which I later realized was me using Tantric energy. (If you don't know what that is, look it up, and DON'T use Wikipedia... that site is full of bullshit).

There were times when masturbation literally didn't work. I would have multiple orgasms, and still feel so unsatisfied. I ended up writing erotica's (this was when I was about 12 years old) that were highly graphic. My mom found one once, and I guess it was so detailed my mom was certain I had already had sex. Little did she know, that I just knew what I was talking about because.. well.. my mind is awesome like that. I had never watched porn by this point either, so this sort of thing left my parents rather baffled.

Point is, I literally have been a sexual person my whole entire life. There are several things that could be the reason for why it started in the first place, but I'd much rather not focus on it. All I know, is that I am happy the way I am, even if that means that I may have the tendencies of a nymphomaniac. I don't whore myself out, well.. except to Master, and if that is as far as it goes, then I'm perfectly fine with that.

Call me crazy, but I enjoy being the sexual person I am. I think it keeps Master on His toes, and it's something that I don't think we'll ever get tired of. After all, sex is rather therapeutic for me. If my stress levels are running particularly high, and then I have long, passionate sex with Master, my stress levels will have diminished immensely, and I'll feel so much better about myself.  

What is even more strange, is over a year ago is when I first learned about tantric sex and tantric magic. That is how I came to the realization I have that natural energy in a rather large abundance. A friend of mine, who has studied, and practice tantric magic, kind of showed me how to harness that a bit, but it was really just the beginning. Ever since I learned how to work this type of energy a little more on the efficient side, my sex life with Master has actually improved. Not that it really needed it, but now I can feel that energy, and the sex just feels different, and better. 

This post is so spastic. It's almost 1am and I have no idea why I'm still awake, trying to type this. Sorry if some of this didn't make sense. I'll revise it tomorrow when I'm actually awake and more aware.

So in summary, I'm very sexual, I love it, and I hope to god this never changes. 


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