Alright, so here I was on youtube, just browsing some videos when I came across a jewel among treasures. It was a video on what a girls opinion was on bare bottom spanking your children. Now, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but some of the things she says just made me want to not only smack her, but bang my head on my desk.
She goes on saying that it's wrong, and she gives reasons to why she feels it's wrong. Some of them, I can kind of understand (kind of) but for the most part, I felt like I was listening to an ill formed person speak about something they they really had no idea what they were talking about.
At one point, she mentions that the human butt is part of our genitalia. WHOA! STOP RIGHT THERE! Rewind that bitch and play it again. The fuck did you just say? I'm sorry... but I gotta call this out. Did this girl ever pay ANY attention to sex education at all while she was in school? Did anyone ever go over the reproductive systems with this girl? Cause somewhere along the way, she has seemed to have missed something.
Okay, so that was pretty freaking stupid, lets keep watching. We then hear her say that getting spanked on the bare bottom hurts. Uh.. DUH~! It's supposed to hurt! That is the point of getting spanked as a kid! To teach you that if you do something that the parent considers "bad", it results in pain. We all know kids don't like pain, so in hopes of spanking them, we teach them not to do something completely off the charts "wrong".
Now there was one last major thing she mentioned, that I noticed, and I can actually understand this better than most people think. She said that her being spanked bare bottomed kind of messed her up. Alright. I understand this. As they say "What works for one person, may not work for another." And in this case, I don't think it worked out well for her. Some people get spanked as kids, and they grow up just fine, while other will have the same treatment, but they grow up to feeling semi-neglected, or maybe betrayed.
The point is, it doesn't work on them well. I can understand that sort of thing mentally scarring a kid. We are all wired differently, and some people can't take physical correction like others can. Just like for me, grounding me was the least effective thing in the world. I was stubborn, and rebelled against being grounded.
So in her defense, I understand that, and honestly that is possibly the only thing I don't find stupid about this video. To me, that is a reasonable explanation and that is something that people can and do go through.
As a child, I got physically corrected more times than I did verbally or got grounded. Granted that wasn't much as I tried my best to be as good of a kid as one could possibly do. I have gotten spanked on the bottom, bare. I've had a belt and a switch taken to me as well. (No wonder I like pain now. Lol j/k) and I feel I've turned out just fine.
This is my life, personally though. Would I spank my kids bare bottom? If it warranted it, yes. I for one, do not find it to be a form of perversion, but then again, I'm also not a pedophile either. That sort of thing doesn't get me off now, and it will NEVER get me off.
In my opinion, punishment is necessary to an extent, and that extent is to try to teach the child how to behave and how to keep them in line. Going past that, yes, we seem to have a problem. As long as I am not bruising my kid, and if they have so much as a red mark on them and that's it, then I feel I have not pushed too far, and I feel that the deed was done correctly.
The way I see it, is if I was able to be punished like that as a kid myself, then my children are not going to be "too good" to be punished when they do something wrong too.
To any of my readers, what are your feelings on punishment with a/your child? what do you think about this girls' opinion on this subject? Do you think she is right, wrong? Why?
Give me some of your opinions.
Thanks for reading.
~*~Anastassia~*~
My history was not something to be taken lightly. As such, I'm still in the camp of smack down the middle between two the two sides.
ReplyDeleteAbuse in child rearing is NOT justified, no matter what the abuse. Period.
But, here is where I get to define what (to me) is not considered physical abuse. I believe setting down rules with punishment that fits the 'crime' is not abuse, when acted out in a neutral manner (never in malace or in anger). I believe in calmly explaining what the kid did wrong, what they could have done differently, and a light smack to the ass to re-enforce it if it's on the list of punishments for the act (never hard enough to mark, bruise, or do damage in any lasting way - the idea of a smack is that it's embarrassing and you don't want to have to repeat the experience). Do I believe in hitting a kid anywhere else? No. Do I believe that yelling in any context is going to help the situation? Nope. Do I believe in heavy whipping or anything above one or two smacks as the 'cause and effect' rule to get them to understand that there are always consequences to your actions? Nope.
I'm not even a big fan of using implements other than the open, bare hand.
I'm in the camp that kids DO need punishment (although not always corpreal) sometimes to grow into moral, socially acceptable adults. I also believe in the use of effective punishment shifted to the kid - what works in changing behavior for one kid won't work for another one.
Call me wishy-washy, but I'm of the opinion that if my parent actually followed what I just outlined, I'd be ok and thank them for raising me up to have a good idea of right and wrong. My folks instead took it way too far, in anger and rage, and instead I'm pretty messed up.
I guess I just see the world in shades of grey rather than in pure black and white.
That is what I'm talking about though. My parents, when they punished me like that, it was when they weren't really all that pissed off. Were there a few times where my bottom got a little red? Yep, but I NEVER once got bruised by anyone who punished me like that. At the very most, my bottom was sore for all of about 10 minutes, then the pain was gone forever.
ReplyDeleteThat is why I don't see it as abuse. They didn't scar me, bruise me or anything like that. I got a little pink/light red, and then I learned my lesson, and it never happened again.
I can see how some kids wouldn't take it well though - there's a fine line between abuse and justified consequence.
ReplyDeleteEh, I took you up on your challenge a few days ago. If you want my history, it's written. Painfully. *sigh*
http://certarimuse.blogspot.com/2011/11/who-hell-are-you-book-read-at-your-own.html
I didn't watch the video. But from your summary, I would have to say I disagree with her.
ReplyDeleteThere is a huge difference between turning your kid over you knee and beating the crap out of them. To me, her perspective comes across as if the parent actually enjoys spanking their kid (which would be fucked up right). I don't enjoy spanking my kids. In fact, I rather hate it. But I do feel that there are circumstances where it is necessary.
I wasn't spanked as a kid. My dad had a mean way with words, I was sensitive, it just never really happened. And I thought that I wouldn't spank my kids.
Yea, I got two boys who tend to play deaf. And sometimes talking or other punishment (like revoking privileges) just doesn't work.
I believe that the majority of people who grew up without punishment of some memorable form are those people who think they can do no wrong and walk all over others, that they have open license to behave as they wish without consequences.
And I want my kids to be good people who respect others and understand that their actions do have consequences.
So yea, I spank my kids. And I like to think that they will be better people for it.
@Certari: *hugs* I can tell it's going to be a deep read. I'll be reading it soon.
ReplyDelete@lil: Thank you for you opinion, and replying.