Things Are Finally Looking Better.

At the beginning of this week, things were not looking so hot between Master and I. Lots of raw emotions and harsh things were said, but after we spent some time together on Tuesday afternoon, we got to talk things out in private. We both pointed out things we wanted the other person to improve on, and I think Master had more to take in than what I did. He stayed silent while I spoke out my concerns, and I really couldn't tell what He was thinking. 


I finally begged Him to speak up, and when He did, He said the main reason He wasn't saying anything was because all He wanted to do was deny everything I was saying, even though He knew those were things He really did need to work on. At that moment, I felt guilt hit, and I wanted to say I was sorry and just let it go, but I knew that these were things we really needed to discuss, get out, and fix. He said a couple things about me that He thought needed changing, and I have to agree. Granted, I was not happy about it either. 


After we got that out of our systems, things were kind of awkwardly quiet for a little while. We ended up lying down together and looked at one another. I ended up taking my clothes off, because I was burning up, and actually planned on taking a nap (I enjoy sleeping naked. This wasn't for sexual reasons). Master looked at me and told me how beautiful I was, and that He loved my eyes. 


What happened next was rather unexpected. He started kissing me, and it was like we had never kissed before. It felt like every pent up emotion was flowing away. He climbed on top of me, still kissing me, and telling me how me He loved me. The passionate kiss turned into sex, but it wasn't like the typical sex we have where it's rough and we're literally trying to get one another off. It was sweet, loving, and tender. Definitely something we both needed.


After we finished, it was like we had never fought to begin with. We were smiling, telling one another how much we loved each other, and most of all, we were happy. I know most people think it's odd, but sometime a little bit of sex can actually make a bad situation into a good one. Make up sex is great. I always feel closer to Master when that happens.


We are doing a lot better today, and we haven't fought since. In fact, it's almost like it stirred up a new passion between us, because it kind of feels like we can't keep our hands off one another. Plus, Master and I have both started working on the things we talked about, so there hasn't been any issues. 


Over the past couple of weeks, my cussing has gotten bad again, so that is one major thing that Master is focusing on right now. He told me a couple weeks ago I had dropped the "F-bomb" multiple times in one day, and I never really realized it. So He wants me to work on it and get back to me cussing hardly at all (if ever) again. 


In other news, I think I mentioned a few posts back that my digestive system has been giving me loads of trouble, mainly over the last couple of years, but it's been worse for the last few months. I now have been experiencing bouts of severe nausea, abdominal discomfort, and other nasty things that I'm sure you all don't want to read about. It literally feels like my digestive system is nothing short of a wreck. 


The good news, I've cut out all greasy and acidic foods out of my diet now, and I have started taking probiotics, which are great for digestive health. (Yay for research). Today is day two on them, and I have also started taking my multivitamins and supplements again to help with overall health. I haven't been sick since before this past weekend, and I haven't really been having any bowel issues either. So that is great news for me. My nausea has seemed to disappeared as well, for now, so I'm hoping things keep looking up for me and I am hoping that with better dieting, these probiotics, supplements, and exercise I can finally maintain regularity again. That'd be great.


I also started taking a vitamin B12 supplement as well, because it helps with fatigue, circulation, memory and such. Which I have also been having issues with for some time now. Yes, I know, I am taking a LOT of supplements/vitamins (actually only two supplements, one multivitamin, and the probiotic), but I did my research before starting them, and it is okay that I am taking what I'm taking. I am not a fan of taking pills or anything, so I wouldn't take it if I didn't think it wouldn't help. Trust me on that. All of the things I am taking are safe to take with each other, especially if I take them with food and a glass of water. (Directions on all of them). So I'm playing it safe. My body is not healthy one bit, so I'm hoping this will give me a boost in the right direction. Putting healthy things in the body really shouldn't be an issue. ^.^


Speaking of healthy, Master thinks I have started losing weight. I really don't feel like I am, but maybe I am, and I just don't realize it yet. I don't know. I'm not one to weigh myself every day. In fact, I only plan to weigh myself once a month, and I still have a few weeks to go before I need to weigh myself in again. End of January. So here in a couple weeks, I guess we will be finding out if I really AM losing that weight. I hope so. >.<;


I am hoping by the time summer hits, I'll have lost at the very least, 30 pounds. I'm actually pushing for 50, but if I make it to that 30 lb weight loss mark, I will definitely be happy. Plus I'm sure if I do, it will help motivate me to keep losing weight, and to work out. I actually have started lifting weights (light. 5-10 lbs) and lifting those little barbells while walking on a treadmill. Whoa.. that really can be a work out. Especially if you have no muscle mass in your arms like me. Haha So I'm hoping to gain some upper body strength too in order to compensate for all the muscle mass I have in my legs. Seriously, my legs are like 85% muscle. I do have some fat on my legs, but I have way more muscle than I do fat. 


Anyways, enough of me being all health freak talk and what-not. (Kind of odd for me, I never talk like this). It's about time I hop off here and get to work on looking up some information for Master, do my homework, and get ready to do a little work out later. 


Wish me luck on my improvements and stuff!


~*~Anastassia~*~


P.S. Please keep Angel and Panda in your prayers, even if you have no idea who I am talking about. Angel has been really sick these past few months, and nothing seems to be working. Panda has recently started having really bad migraines out of nowhere. Please keep them in your thoughts. I really hope they find out what is going on so they may start feeling better and healthier again.